Promises 2: Maybe
by syaoran no hime
Summary: RenPirika. She thought she knew how cold ice can be...but realized the coldest ice is the heart of the one she loves.
1. Default Chapter

I thought I already know how cold ice is, but I now realized how little I knew; it is easier to hold the ice falling from the sky than to hold his icy heart. 

_But I won't give up. Kami-sama will someday hear my prayer, and maybe, just maybe, He can melt its wintriness._

_Even glaciers melt._

_Right?_

Promises 0: Maybe

_This is the prequel of the Hao/Anna promises, just to set the record straight. Promises 2 (Horo/Tamao) will be published after this one._

I carefully carried the tray of snacks to the study, balancing precariously the bottle of milk and the plate of sandwich as I ascended the grand staircase of the Tao mansion.

At last, I arrived in front of the room. I used my foot to knock on the room, then waited.

As I scuffed my sneakers on the floor, I found myself reminiscing on the reason why I was staying in the Tao mansion.

Months ago, my onii-chan was training in the Tao compound when he met an accident, one that caused him to be put into comatose. The Tao family immediately decided to look after me while he still couldn't. 

I was so used to living close to Mother Nature, and I would have opted to continue living so, but the second time the Tao family invited me to live in the mansion, it had been impossible to say 'no'. Not when the one who was inviting you was a grim-looking Ren Tao.

~*~

"Onee-san wants you to stay with us in the mansion," said Ren, crossing his arms.

_I hugged Kororo to my chest, maintaining eye contact with the ground. I was afraid that if I meet his gaze, I might burst into flames, the way his eyes were piercing me. "I can make do on my own," I said quietly._

_"My sister doesn't think so," he said. "Stop wasting time and come with me."_

_I lifted my eyes to him, ignoring the throbbing in my chest. "No, thank you. I'm staying put."_

_"It seems that you do not know a Tao very well," he said darkly. "A Tao never accepts an answer contrary to what he seeks." With no overture, he grabbed my hand and dragged me with him._

_"W-Wait…" I looked down, feeling submissive and rebellious at the same time. I didn't want to leave the place, but there was something in him that could make 'no' disappear in my vocabulary._

_"Your brother would like it very much if he wakes up and you'll be the first person that he would see." Ren glanced at me briefly, and then continued walking briskly._

_The single fleeting look woke up something within my heart- one that made my heart jump out of its place. I had acknowledged back in the Patch Village that I felt something for the indifferent Chinese shaman, but two years after the shaman fight, the feeling hadn't died. His hands clasping mine lit the flame once again, waking up the sleeping embers within my heart._

_By the time we were seated in his car, I have come to realize that I still am madly infatuated with Ren Tao._

_~*~_

I sighed impatiently when the door didn't open. I decided to put the food tray down to try the doorknob. To my surprise, the door swung open freely. Since when had Ren forgotten to close the door of any room in the mansion?

Clutching the snack tray once more, I stepped into the room, eyes roving for living figures. Seeing none, I decided to put down the food tray and leave it there.

The Tao family treats me well, and they do not ask me to help out in cleaning the mansion because they had enough maids to clean the entire Patch Village, but when it concerns Ren's needs – his personal belongings, his food, his personal orders – I would make it a point to help out. I was happy already in serving him in little ways, even if he wasn't aware of it.

I then noticed a telegram on the table. I was about to stand up and ignore it when my eyes caught the name 'Yoh'. I frowned. So the letter came from Yoh Asakura? The same person onii-chan and Ren wanted to defeat?

To my shock though, it wasn't the friendly Yoh Asakura-sent letter that I expected; it was a telegram from Master Mikihisa, sending word about Yoh's recent death.

I read on.

Master Mikihisa wants Ren to go to Japan and attend Yoh's funeral, and to help out in cheering Ms. Anna up. He narrated that Yoh died right in front of her, so she was in trauma right now. The company of Yoh's friends might help her.

"Didn't your mother teach you not to touch things that aren't yours?" boomed a familiar voice.

I lifted my eyes from the paper and found Ren Tao standing in front of me, fresh from his regular gym session. He was perspiring all over, and his shirt clung to his muscled body. I nearly fainted- heavens, Ren could be so damn sexy!

"Well?" he snapped.

"G-Gomen," I choked.

He grabbed the letter from my hands and crumpled it. He dropped it on the floor, then grabbed the glass of milk on the snack tray. He took one big thirsty gulp of it.

I watched in fascination, as if I was watching his every move in slow motion. There was no angle that diminishes the Ren Tao sexiness- even his milk moustache was complimentary to him too.

He put the half-empty glass of milk and stared at me. "So what are you still doing here?"

I blinked. "N-Nothing."

His eyes narrowed at me. "Then get out already."

I cleared my throat. "Are you…really going to leave?"

"You read the letter."

"When will you return?" I asked.

He raised his brows quizzically. "If I do reply, what is it to you?"

I quickly shook my head. "I…I just want to know."

He exhaled sharply, showing his impatience with me. "I'll try to ask Anna to go with me back here."

"W-Why?" I asked.

"My mother wants me to present her a fiancée that I would marry when I reach the age of twenty-one. It's our clan tradition."

I tried to fight off the dread growing within me. "S-So Ms. Anna is the girl you're planning to-"

"It will just be a make-believe engagement anyway." He looked out at the window. "I have no intention of losing my much-valued freedom."

That didn't bring me much relief. Whether the engagement was real or not, I wouldn't have a chance with him.

"After my birthday, Anna and I can go separate ways, and my mother can do nothing anymore about it," he finished.

"I-If you're going to marry, why don't you try to keep your bride anyway?" I asked.

He looked at me as if I was some kind of a naïveté display. "Because I love my freedom."

"Oh." I felt like a concrete hollow block just slammed on my fragile heart.

He rubbed his temples. "And why am I explaining things like this to you anyway?"  He turned to the door. "Get out."

I nodded meekly and headed for the door. However, I couldn't resist sneaking a glance back at the boy I secretly love.

I had to smile as I let my eyes wander on his stone-cold but darkly handsome profile. I longed to run my fingers on him and trace his contour, in hope of softening its harsh, pointed edges.

Ren suddenly turned to me. His forehead creased when he saw me still standing by the door. "Do you have something else to say?" he asked curtly.

I shook my head and shut the door.

I have grown used to his snobbish ways; Jun-san told me that Ren was just going through a phase-after all, Ren Tao was the head of the clan, and incredible burden was on his shoulders, not to mention that he was being pressured to find a proper woman to be trained by his mother and Jun-sn to be a most proper wife for him. 

When the time comes that he would bring that girl here, I wouldn't know what I would do. Just thinking of it was making me feel sick, my stomach uneasy. I wanted Ren Tao very much, even if I knew that it would be impossible.

I pushed open the door to my brother's room. I wasn't surprised anymore when I saw Tamamura Tamao sitting by my brother's bed, clutching his umoving hand. Aside from myself, it was Tamao who was devastated the most when the news about Onii-chan's accident broke.

I looked at her trembling hand, then patted her shoulders. "Tamao' nee-san?"

She blinked, and I felt my heart wrench. Her eyes tell me that she had not slept a wink yet- perhaps, because she was busy attending after Yoh's funeral. Still, she made it a point to visit my brother, the best friend she had for two years.

"Tamao'nee-san, please sleep. I'll look after onii-chan," I begged.

She quietly shook her head. "I'm fine. Please don't worry about me."

"Onii-san might get mad if he wakes up and sees you like that," I said, trying to lighten up the mood.

Our eyes both went to the comatose body of my brother. He looked peaceful, as if he never would wake up anymore. I pushed the thought out of my mind. No, onii-chan is fighting back for me…for Tamao'nee-san. We mustn't give up! For the past three months, even with his precarious situation, he didn't let go. So why should we?

"Master Yoh's brother came awhile ago," said Tamao out of the blue.

"Eh?" I heard enough from my brother about Hao Asakura, the reincarnated demon who nearly dominated the world if not for Yoh, to know that it wasn't good news. "What is he doing there?"

She sighed. "I heard him tell Master Yohmei that Yoh sent him there…to look after Ms. Anna."

I blinked. "H-How is Ms. Anna?"

"Still no progress. She refuses to leave her room…" Her voice shook. "Just some days ago, we were all so happy. Master Yoh has just announced that he will be marrying Ms. Anna next month…and then…and then I had to predict to Master Yoh that stupid…stupid…" She broke into a sob. 

I bit my lip. Tamao told me that she predicted Yoh's fate…that he would never come back anymore when he leaves. 

I remembered the letter. So the prediction did happen after all.

"It was all my fault…" she whispered.

"Of course not!" I said with all my heartfelt conviction. If onii-chan would see Tamao crying, hell would pay, that was for sure. I decided that I would cheer her up while he still couldn't. "Things happen, things that we have no control over. B-But we do have control over how we will react to them, and it is best that we react with genkiness, because no amount of tears can make the events come undone. So all we can do is to be brave." I clasped her hands. "And I'm sure Kami-sama has a reason for Yoh's death. Maybe He wants to give him the eternal rest that our slacker friend always craves for. And I'm sure Yoh is happy now wherever he is."

Tamao nodded. "That is exactly what Horo Horo could have told me."

"Heh! We're siblings! We're the other half of each other!"

Tamao rubbed her eyes. "Wait, let me get you some tea." She stood up, and I knew it was just an excuse for her to tidy herself up. We knew Jun-san might be worried when she sees nee-san like that.

When the door closed, I took my turn in talking to my brother's sleeping figure. "Onii-chan, Yoh died already, but that doesn't mean you're going to go there already and follow him. Did you see how pained Tamao' nee san looked awhile ago? Don't you even feel guilty for hurting her so much, after you swore to me that you will protect her because you want me to have a neesan?"

I smoothed my cheek against his hand. "I love you, onii-chan, and I know Tamao' neesan loves you too, she just doesn't say that out loud. So please, wake up already."

"I have so many things to tell you…about Ren Tao…he's really a jerk, but I still like him a lot. He's really snobbish, and yeah, he's looking for a wife. I don't think I would be fine if I see his wife already, so maybe you can do a favor and open your eyes already. So you can take me away from here already…I miss you so much, onii-chan…" The tears that I had been fighting back flew freely again.

"Ren is not here?" I blinked when Jun told me that some days later.

His elder sister nodded. "I think he w as alarmed when he learned that Hao was frequently visiting Anna-okami."

I bit my lip painfully when I remembered how Ren told me that he intends to take Anna home along with him.

"Pirika, what's wrong?" she asked gently when she noticed that my face had turn ashen.

"N-No, nothing. I'm fine…please excuse me." I fled towards my room, my hair flying behind me. Jun didn't ask anymore- I think she understood already anyway.

I had to prepare myself. In days, Ren would be home, and he might just be taking a wife along with him already.

It hurts…no matter how much I dull the pain…it hurts.

**tsuzuku**


	2. 2

I decided to swap the places of Promises 0 and Promises 2, because I thought Horo and Tamao's story would be easier narrated if it was a prologue to Promises (the Hao/Anna one). So to clarify things, this story would be now known as "Promises 2: Maybe" and the Horo/Tamao one will be "Promises 0: What is Forever?" There!

Gomen for the mix-up! ^^;;

-- rattled syaowee due to cramming for project deadlines .

I arrived home grumpily. I thought I was going to find the solution to my dilemma when I go to Izumo. My mother, obsessed with the idea of finding a fiancée for me, would surely lose it once she learns that I wasn't able to convince the itako to go back to China with me.

Damn that Hao Asakura. I had this feeling that the whole time I was trying to coax Anna Kyouyama, he was staying there in the living room deliberately.

I remembered how he suddenly carried Anna off…something about a bath. I frowned even more- was something going on between him and the itako? The possibility was a scary thought, although I had to admit that maybe Hao would do Anna some good. I saw how her vacant eyes suddenly flashed in anger and came to life when Hao announced that he was going to give her a bath. Maybe, he could give back her vitality that she lost when Yoh died.

But it still brought me to square one: I need a fiancée.

One who would understand my situation, one whom my family especially my mother and sister would approve of.

"Welcome back, young master," greeted Li Pailong, who was standing by the front door, waiting for him. 

"Where is my sister?" he asked, frowning.

"She went to see your parents off. They are going on an indefinite vacation-"

I sighed in relief. I won't be having issues with the fiancée thing after all. My mother wouldn't be here to pester me after all.

"But your sister left some instructions to me when you arrive…with your fiancée?" There was an unmistakable question in his voice.

"She's not here," I said curtly. "I wasn't able to convince her to come with me. Stupid Hao Asakura's fault."

"I see." Pailong gestured to the hallway. "Then it's best you rest, Master. You had quite a long journey."

"Japan is not so far from China." But I did walk into the hallway, heading for my room. I wanted to hit the showers; I'm feeling sticky from the trip.

I blinked when I saw the door of my room open, then I dismissed it. Perhaps it was just a maid cleaning my room. Or Pirika picking up my dirty clothes to launder.

Which reminded me of my problem once more. Apparently, my sister was expecting me to bring home a fiancée already. What will I do now, go for a mail-order bride?

I could hear the faint shower sounds, and I thought that maybe my shower was leaking.

I went straight to the bathroom, not noticing the pile of clothes by its door. I hurriedly took off my shirt and pushed open the door. It swung open freely.

I froze when I saw that someone had already occupied my bathtub. The first thing I noticed was the glorious spray of blue hair, with smooth ivory shoulders partially peeking from the long, damp mane. Her hand was scooping some soapy water to her raised leg, glistening with water and even bubbles. A soft hum was bouncing on the four tiled walls of my bathroom, somehow tickling my senses.

The only rational thing to do was to flee, but my feet were already starting to move. And the next thing I knew, I heard myself call her name.

 She stiffened, and slowly, she turned to me, face pale.

"Aaaaaiiiii!!!!" And I was met by thrown bucket of hot water on my face.

"Well why did you do that anyway?" asked Bason scoldingly as he watched me rub myself dry.

"I don't know," I said, irritated. "And what is she doing there also in the first place? That was my private bathroom!"

"Still, you should have just waited until she finished her bath when you confronted her," he reprimanded, and I noticed that he was suspiciously starting to sound like my sister.

"Well I can't turn back time." I finished rubbing my face.

We both stopped when we heard someone knock on the door.

"Come in," I said wearily. Must be Pailong, asking if I would eat dinner tonight.

But to my surprise, it was the Ainu girl. She was dressed in a fresh set of clothes, and even from this distance, I could smell the fragrant botanic shampoo she used. I immediately guessed it was from my sister- she's good at those, and she seemed to be fond of Pirika so she gives the girl lots of attention and small gifts.

"Ren…" Her face turned pink once again, and I wonder if the attitude of the pink-haired girl was starting to rub onto her.

"What now?" I asked jadedly. "You forgot your soap in there?"

Her face turned hotter. She licked her lips nervously, and I was betting that her oral fluids had gone arid.

"Gomen nasai…for using your tub. I-It's just that….well, the shower in my room won't work, and I was already half-drenched, a-and I thought that you won't even know that I used your bath because I didn't know you were coming home so soon," she ranted all in one breath.

I looked at her intently, trying to gauge the truth in her face. Not satisfied, I got up and grabbed her hand, dragging her behind me.

"R-Ren' nii-san, w-where are we going?" she stammered.

I exhaled sharply. One thing that I didn't like about her was she would make it a point to call me onii-san. I was just a year older than her, for pete's sake!

I pushed open the door of her bedroom, then went straight to the bathroom.

"W-What are you going to do in there?" she asked, eyes wide.

I cranked the shower up and waited for the fall of water. Nothing came. It looks like the Ainu was telling the truth after all.

Grumpily, I took a stool and stood on it, then tiptoed – I need not elaborate on my height anymore – to knock on the showerhead.

She was behind me, looking up at fascination. "W-Well, can you fix it?"

I felt the uncontrollable urge to brag. "Piece of cake." I then knocked on it more, inspecting it as if it was some kind of an electron microscope.

Just then, water sprung out of the shower. It drenched my face, and I tumbled backwards. I fell down rear first on the tiled floor, coughing out water.

"Ren' nii-san!" she cried. She knelt down beside me, great concern written all over her face. "Are you alright?" Her hand ran through my face, my hair, wiping the water away from them hastily.

"Fine…fine…" I said absent-mindedly. I was losing myself to the pleasant sensation of her soft hand running on my skin. It was the first time that she touched me without reservation, and amidst the chilling shower of water, I felt warm all over, courtesy of the lovely warmth radiating from her touch.

"M-Matte," she said as she prepared to get up. "I'm just going to turn the shower off." She walked towards the shower gracefully and cranked the shower knob down. The bathroom became tensely silent, save for the random drips of water reminiscent of the shower blast awhile ago.

"C-Can you stand up?" she asked, walking back to my side.

I felt my eyes wistfully go to her hands, which were folded primly on her lap now- I wanted them to touch me again, just like awhile ago.

I froze. What the hell was I thinking? And on Horo Horo's sister even?

"Yeah." I got up shakily, ignoring the pain on my backside. Her hands were quick to assist me as she helped me out carefully.

"It's not just your lucky day, Ren' nii-san," she said, smiling tentatively. "The water sign hates you today. First, I threw hot water on you, then you got blasted on by icy water."

Her smile faltered when she got no response from me. The truth is, I didn't want to talk anymore. I didn't like this feeling that we're starting to get comfortable with each other. More than annoying, it was a little frightening. I didn't care to put my finger on the reason anymore- I didn't want to find out.

"I-Is Anna-okami here?" she asked quietly as we made our way back to my room.

"No. Hao Asakura was a pest," I said.

"Y-You need not hurry in finding a bride, Ren' nii-san," she said slowly. "I-I mean, take your time. Your mother won't return anytime soon."

I detected relief in her voice, but I decided not to ask. I was too busy mulling over what to tell my sister, who was excited to meet the future woman member of our clan.

"Hontou?" she asked, eyes wide.

I blinked.

"You need to show a bride to your sister because she wants to train her already for her job as your wife?" she said.

Did I say that out loud? I nodded.

"Then I'll be your wife!" she burst out.

I stopped walking. I could only gape at the girl, who was blushing, but there was evident fierce determination on her face, telling me that what she said wasn't just an outburst, and that she knew what she was doing.

We locked gazes for what seemed like eternity, then I smirked. "I'm looking for a wife, not a baby. You're too young." I turned my back on her, but not quick enough to see her crestfallen face, and a tear that she quickly wiped away.

I made her cry.

Damn.

Why was the thought of that triggering something in me? Something forcing me to go back and face her again?

I hastened my pace into the bedroom, but not before hearing something that almost made me halt.

"I-I'll grow up too," she said softly, sadly. "Wait for me then, ok?"

I clenched my fists, then went into my room, slamming the door behind me.

**tsuzuku**


	3. 3

I walked sadly towards Horo Horo's room, near to tears. Ren Tao had rejected me, and I caught the look of disgust in his eyes. No, I didn't think I could live with remembering that look over and over.

It was as if he hated me.

But why? All I did was be honest to him about my feelings!

I pushed open the door and went straight to my unconscious brother's side. I took his hand and buried my face on his palm, imagining that his fingers were moving to wipe my tears away, the way he used to do when I was crying, back when he was still up and around, full of life.

"Onii-chan, konbanwa," I said hoarsely. "I came here to disturb you again. I-It's…it's Ren' nii-san. I…I offered myself as his pretend bride…and he refused."

"I knew he was going to say things like that, and I have tried to prepare myself emotionally for that…dakedo…it still hurts." I sniffled a little, then shut my eyes tight. "Onii-chan, j-just when I need your protection most…you weren't there to give it to me. I-It's not your fault though. I-I was stupid." I clasped his hand tightly. "I love you, Onii-chan."

To my shock, the fingers I was holding suddenly moved, then clasped mine. I looked up and found him slowly opening his eyes.

At first, I was shocked. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. But when I saw those familiar Ainu eyes that have carefully guarded and guided me even before I was aware that they did, I knew it was real.

After almost half a year of comatose, my onii-chan was awake!

The next evening, I watched as Tamao fed my brother.

"Here, eat up," said the girl, spooning some of the porridge into his mouth. "This will help you in recovering your strength."

"I don't want to eat," he said quietly.

I bit my lip painfully and tried to keep the shakiness out of my voice. "Onii-chan, you need to recover your strength. S-So we can start walking around the compound and…and…"

_Try to recover your memories._ I gazed at my brother sadly. He woke up, alright, but without remembering anything. He didn't even remember me at all!

Tamao' nee-san was much more composed. Her cheerful smile was impeccably pasted on her face. "But if you don't eat, how can you get out of the bed?"

"I said, I don't want to eat!!!" I watched in horror as my brother tossed the bowl to the floor.

I looked at her worriedly, but Tamao was still smiling. It was shaky, but it was determined. I found myself loving Tamao' nee-san even more. Her unshakable devotion and faith to my brother…where else would people find something as steadfast as that?

"I'll cook another bowl, and this time, I'll make sure that it will be more delicious than this one. You won't be able to resist it at all," she said confidently.

"I will not eat! I just want to remember!" he yelled, desperation evident in his voice. I looked away, not wanting him to see my tears. The doctor told us that it was just a temporary amnesia, and that in due time, he would remember. But it still pains me to watch my brother suffer like this. I couldn't blame him for being this irritable.

Tamao smiled at me and gestured for me to leave. She must have noticed my own agony too. I nodded meekly and went out of the room.

I found myself heading for the balcony. I needed fresh air- something that would heave the burden in my chest.

I hugged myself and sat down the marble floor, looking up at the moonless night sky. "Kami-sama, I thank you for hearing my prayer and bringing my brother back…but is it too much to ask for if I ask you to give him back his memories as soon as possible?" I started to sob, and I knew that I couldn't hold it off anymore. I let the first few quiet tears streak down my cheeks before I let out the storm of frustrated tears I had been bottling up within me for so long. I didn't care whether it was chilly, or that I would catch a cold by staying outside for too long. I just needed a place to cry freely.

I paused when I felt something touch my shoulders. It was a blanket.

Ren Tao sat down beside me. "You're too noisy. I can't train."

"G-Gomen nasai then," I whispered, a little sarcastic anger hinted in my voice. "I know this is not my territory, and that I have to ask for your permission first before I cry in your place." I had momentarily forgotten the awkwardness between us- I was too upset about my brother's dilemma. "And I believe I have no right to be alone in any inch of your house too, am I right?"

"Damn, why do you have to be so talkative?" he yelled. "I came here because I don't want you to be alone! What if you commit suicide?"

"I'm not depressed!" I shot back, eyes crinkling in anger. "Just leave me alone!"

"No, I won't," he said firmly. "Fine, you can go continue your bawling, but I will not go."

"Go away! I don't need you here!" I tried to push him away, but he wouldn't budge. I pushed harder, and his hands caught mine. He pulled me closer to me fiercely.

"Pirika, damn it! Shut up, will you?" he hissed.

"Let me go!!!"

"Well, shut up!!!"

"I said, LET ME GO!!!"

One moment, he was staring at me angrily. Then the next thing I knew, he was harshly silencing my mouth with his, and he succeeded. I was hushed by his overpowering force mixed with something overwhelming I couldn't decipher.

As quickly as he kissed me, he abruptly let me go, panting. "Are you calmer now?" he asked curtly. "Let's go in already. The night is too chilly."

"Don't order me around like I'm one of your kyoshins! You don't know anything…you don't understand," I sobbed quietly. "My brother is suffering and I can't help him! My protector all my life, and I can't protect him in this single circumstance. You don't know how it hurts, so don't boss me around!"

His eyes lessened its harshness. "I'm not…ordering you around," he said quietly. He exhaled shakily. "Look, I will not be at peace if I leave you like this. Now, please calm down. Everything will be alright."

I was confused by how he suddenly changed. This obscured my thinking more. When his grip loosened, I withdrew my hands and wrapped them around my tucked knees. My shoulders were still shaking, but no, the thing haunting me most was that kiss. Something he gave just to silence me, but had etched so quickly a place in my heart already.

So many things had happened at once…the rejection, my brother's comeback, his amnesia, and now, this kiss.

It was like one big giant web, and I was tangled helplessly in between its threads.

And there was only one thing I could do…get away from it.

But before I could voice it out, he spoke. "I know a place where you and your brother can live. A change of environment will do him good. Maybe I'll tour you two there tomorrow."

He was sending me away, I know. Now that Onii-chan is fine, he wanted to get rid of us already.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

He got up. "I'll escort you to your room now."

I was too weak to argue. I walked behind him silently as he led us to the hallway.

At last we arrived in the door of my bedroom. He stepped aside as I pushed open the door of my room.

"Pirika?" he suddenly said.

Silence. I could feel that he wanted to say something, but I do not think I still have the strength to hear what was left for him to say.

I weakly turned to him. "No more, Ren' nii-san. I had enough."

He hesitated, then looked down. "Oyasumi nasai."

I smiled gratefully, then shut the door.

Enough is enough.

"So this is where we separate ways," said Tamao as she gestured to the plane, of course privately owned by the Tao clan. It was responsible of propelling Tamao back and forth Japan and China.

I shook my head. "No…we're coming with you."

"Eh?" Tamao looked surprised. "Aren't you…"

I smiled forcibly. "Now that Onii-chan is fine, the Tao clan has no obligations to us anymore."

"Does Ren…does Ren know this?" she asked quietly.

I shook my head. "He doesn't need to know anyway."

"I don't know…" She looked uncomfortable with the idea of us leaving without permission.

"Please don't tell anyone about this. Ren will know we're gone soon, but by then, Onii-chan and I are in the forest already…maybe we're in Hokkaido, I don't know." I clasped her hands. "Please, nee-san?"

"Why don't you just say goodbye to him?" she asked.

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter. But believe me, it's all for the best. I've convinced Pailong already. I just need your cooperation on this one."

Tamao sighed, then nodded.

I smiled, then turned to the Tao mansion. My home for the past few months, where my heart learned how it was to beat.

I pulled my brother with me. "Let's go, onii-chan?"

He looked at me intently. "Why is it that you look like you have left something there but you don't want to retrieve it?"

I smiled sadly. "I-It's nothing, onii-chan." It was just a broken heart anyway. Broken hearts still beat, right?

He smoothed my hair fondly. "I don't remember much, but I can feel that I have so much love for you, because it hurts me seeing you like that. Little sister, whatever happens, I am here."

I nodded, fighting back my tears. "Hai. I love you too, Onii-chan. There is no one in the world that I can trust my whole life with except you."

Hand in hand, we rode into the plane. And I never dared look back.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" asked Tamao, frowning.

I smiled. "I am positive that I won't come with you and be the third wheel."

My brother grinned approvingly at me while the girl blushed. "O-Of course you won't be a third wheel!" she stammered.

I laughed.

It had been six years since the amnesia incident. My brother had long recovered from his illness, and he sure was busy making it up to Tamao' nee-san, who suffered as greatly as I did when he was sick.

"Well, if you won't come with us, what do you want for us to buy for take-out?" she asked.

I tipped my chin up. "Fries and large coke."

Onii-chan raised a thumbs up, then bowed exaggeratedly at my future sister-in-law. "Shall we?"

She beamed. "We shall."

Holding hands, the two rode on my brother's snowboard. They were going to watch a movie and play Street Fighter afterwards. The couple thingie.

I sighed and looked at Kororo. "Looks like we're on our own." I stretched, then began to clear the dishes. Our tent had improved to a shack, thanks to my brother's more regular jobs working in Anna-okami's inn.

"And she did marry Hao Asakura after all." I couldn't help but smile. "Was Anna-okami tamed already, or was it the other way around?" 

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Kororo coo panickedly. Meaning, someone was around the premises. But why would the spirit panic if it was Tamao or my Onii-chan?

A stranger then.

I took the broom out, ready to attack. I hid behind the door and waited.

Soon enough, it opened. I slammed the broom on the intruder, but his hand stopped it short of slamming his skull.

"Good ole Ainu hospitality," said a familiar voice, making my eyes widen.

Ren Tao smirked at me. "Long time no see, Pirika. How is the runaway bride doing?"

"R-Runaway…bride?" The last word barely left my throat.

He smiled coldly. "Have you forgotten? You told me you wanted to be my bride. I waited, Pirika, as you asked me. Now it's time you make true to your own promise. It's almost my twenty first birthday, and everything is set. All is needed is the bride." He looked at me frostily. "You."

**tsuzuku**


	4. 4

I could see that the Ainu was stunned into speechlessness, and I seized the chance to examine what the years had done to her since the last time I saw her, a clumsy teen barely 14.

Apparently, she had now blossomed into her full beauty at the age of twenty. Her eyes were still the same expressive cerulean ones whose endless pacific ocean could turn into a raging sea of fire when furious. She had grown taller too, and her figure became attractively slender, lending her the grace of a swan. Her soft pouting lips remain the biggest magnet of this woman, for I could feel this unexplainable urge to stare at them.

I loved how she was suddenly looking up at me- I had undergone a growth spurt, thanks to a friend's recommendation of a certain herbal tea.

"Ren Tao," she said quietly. "You are the last person I expect to come here, let alone propose marriage. Please tell me what you want immediately so you can go on your way."

"I want you," I stated simply.

She licked her lips nervously, and I found myself staring at those lips again, reminiscing that night in the balcony that turned my whole life upside down. "Y-You won't want me…I am not…I will not make a good wife."

"I will judge that."

She turned her begging eyes at me. "Please leave, Ren Tao. I was just a child then…it was just an outburst."

"Too late to say that, lady," I said mockingly. "My sister is waiting for you already excitedly. My birthday is just around the block…"

"H-Happy birthday then.." she said softly.

I suppressed an amused smile. "…and I need a fiancée. You can't say no."

"I can and I will," she said in a subdued voice, perfectly in contrast to my own passionately furious one.

"You never learn, don't you?" I stepped towards her, and she didn't even move backwards the way I imagined she would do. "I told you before, a Tao never accepts an answer contrary to what he's seeking." With no warning, I imprisoned her hand.

"Ren Tao…there are so many women out there…" Her eyes remained glued to the ground, and despite of myself, I was starting to feel a sense of déjà vu. One look at her face and I knew she was starting to feel exactly the same way.

"I want you."

"Ren please…"

I exhaled sharply. "You're the only one who can comprehend my situation. I don't have to explain anymore to my fiancée what a shaman is all about."

"Why me…" She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

And despite myself, I could feel something gnawing in my heart. It was an emotion stranger to me, one I couldn't name. I decided to ignore it.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't choose you," I said instead.

"Because I'm prone to…" She caught herself.

"Prone to what?" I asked, not noticing how my voice harshened.

Something crossed her face, but it was quick to disappear. She spoke up again. "I'm detrimental to your freedom, and you told me you love it."

"I won't lose my freedom," I said confidently. "Just like what I said before, it would all just be one big masquerade. After my birthday, we can resume our own affairs again."

"I-I'm not a fighter. I'm not skilled at battles. The only battle I could do is domestic, one like sweeping and cooking. Your family won't like me."

"You'll be my fiancée, not theirs. What are you fretting about?" I asked.

She raised her hand. "No…please, just leave me alone. I'm quite happy with my life now."

"Define happy," I said, stepping closer to her. This was all too easy, frightening a mouse.

"I have peace of mind, something I worked so hard for and would lose if I try to make contact with you again."

"Peace of mind?" I hissed. It was unfair! How come she stole that away from me? "How do you do that, when you remember that you promised someone that you will grow up, and that you'll be his bride?"

She bit her lip. "Ren' nii-san…"

"For pete's sake, stop calling me big brother! We kissed 6 years ago!" I grabbed her tiny waist, and she didn't resist. She was frozen still, looking at me in mixed fear and desperation.

"Remember this: a Tao never breaks a promise, nor does he easily forget those that others broke." I pulled her closer, my face inching even nearer. "So whether you like it or not, you're coming with me."

"T-This is kidnapping," she protested.

"Yes, maybe." I carried her into my arms with ease. "Let's go."

"R-Ren' nii-san!!!" She panicked when she realized what I did.

"Call me that stupid name one more time and I'll kiss you, do you understand?" I barked.

And to my disappointment, she clamped her mouth shut.

We were riding in my family's private plane silently. We were being chartered to China, where my sister would be waiting. My sister _and_ my mother, to be exact.

Good lord, women are such pests! I couldn't comprehend their logic about me having the urgent need to marry.

I remembered what my mother told me. Just so I would not be like my father.

I snapped back to reality when I heard a faint snore. I turned to the other end of the aisle and saw that Pirika has fell into a deep sleep already. Perhaps because of the fatigue from the sudden journey and the tension between us awhile ago.

Before I could think of what I was about to do, I had already crossed the aisle and sat down beside her. I gazed at her unaware face for awhile, smiling all the while. I knew it- she would grow up beautifully. I knew it ever since she was just a gawky fourteen-year-old girl. 

I found myself running the back of my palm on the silkiness of her cheek, then towards the base of her earlobe. I tucked a stray wisp of her hair behind her ear, feeling my mouth twitch all the while.

Maybe this engagement thing wasn't too bad.

She opened her eyes. "R-Ren?"

I instantly fixed my face into a somber one, although I was taken by surprise when she called me by my name alone. "We'll be home in ten minutes."

She nodded half-dreamily. "Kay." She shut her eyes again. "Just wake me up," she mumbled.

"So it will still be Pirika in the end after all," my sister, Jun Tao, said, smiling at the girl. We finally arrived home, but I didn't wake Pirika up. I decided to carry her home again, the way I carried her off from her shack.

The female in my arms woke up, startled. It took her some minutes to orient herself with her surroundings. Her blue eyes went to me, then to my onee-san's. She hurriedly jumped down, blushing.

"I-I told you to wake me up," she hissed.

I shrugged. "I didn't. You were sleeping like a baby, and I don't have the heart to wake you up."

"That was so nice of you, Ren," laughed my sister, though her eyes were on my fiancée. Pirika, on the other hand, refused to meet my sister's gaze, so I decided to divert my sister's attention.

"When will our parents return?" I asked.

"In a few days time, just in time for your birthday, they promised me that." Jun's eyes went back to the girl, who looked too tired to even say yes or no. "Maybe you should take her to bed."

I blinked, and she laughed. "No, Ren, show her to her bedroom."

"Next time, clarify it," I said through gritted teeth.

Jun erupted into peals of laughter. "Oh? And you really intend to do as what you originally thought?"

I refused to answer anymore.

I led her to the long hallways of the mansion as she followed me lamely.

"I'll inform your brother of your whereabouts, if that is what's worrying you," I said awkwardly. I wasn't used of giving reassurances to anyone, but I didn't like the tense silence between us.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"Do you want some dinner?" I asked.

She shook her head slowly.

"Then what the hell is wrong?" I barked.

"Everything," she replied quietly. "Ren' nii-san, I dream of a marriage that I can keep. I cherish that dream since childhood."

I fell silent. She just told me that I deprived her of something she had been yearning of ever since. It pinched something within me.

"You'll still have your chance," I said quietly. "This won't be permanent. You still have a chance to marry someone else…someone who can give you the commitment that you want."

Silence hung once more heavily.

"OK," she said at last. She smiled slowly at me. "For the few days that we'll be together, I'll try to be the best fiancée for you."

I nodded gratefully. "Things will work out fine. After this…"

She nodded. "I understand, and I did make a promise. I'll never ever break one," she said solemnly.

I turned my back on her and was about to walk away when I found myself throwing her one last glance.

She was sitting on the bed, looking out at the window pensively. I smiled a little, then went on my way.

**tsuzuku**


	5. 5

The next day, I hastily prepared the food on the tray. It was almost seven in the morning, the time that Ren usually comes back to the house from his regular morning workouts. I prayed silently that he would like the dishes I prepared. Between me and my big brother, he was the better cook. I had learned to accept that fact, and I thought I wouldn't have to learn the art of cooking he and Tamao' nee-san perfected already since they can both cook.

But I didn't count on this one happening, Ren Tao going out of his way just to locate me in Japan in order to make me his bride. I shook my head. No, a _pretend_ bride.

 But I would be a hypocrite if I do not admit that I was thrilled with the idea of playing his fiancée even just for days. I had always wanted to do these things for him, and have the license to act that way. I wouldn't mind doing this for my entire life, cooking for him, preparing his things, cleaning his room…and I kind of miss doing these things for him. He may never have appreciated the things I did for him back when I was fourteen, and he may never appreciate it now, but I do not care. I already feel rewarded just having him near me.

I smiled. In those six years, it was only him.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone call me.

"Oi, Pirika?" Ren Tao entered the kitchen, frowning. I sighed. The morning sunshine apparently took no effect on him. He was still as grouchy as ever.

"B-Breakfast is served," I said, smiling shyly at him.

"I can see that." He gave the food a brief glance, then went straight towards the sink to wash his face.

"I-I'll go get you a towel," I said quickly.

"Don't you think I can go get it myself?" he asked, annoyed. I knew he wasn't used to being fussed upon. Even when I used to bring him his breakfasts, I never volunteered out loud…well, save for that time when I volunteered to be his bride. But that was it.

"G-Gomen," I said instead.

"Oh alright, if it will make you happy, go get me a towel," he groaned. I bit back a smile as I dashed to fetch him what he needs.

When I handed it to him, he headed towards the door. I blinked. "R-Ren' nii-san?"

He turned to me, eyes narrowed. "What did I tell you before about calling me?"

"Um…that I should call you when it's only important?"

"No! That the next time I hear you call me 'big brother', I'll DEVOUR you!!!" he yelled, nearly making me jump.

"G-Gomen nasai," was the only thing I could say. I didn't realize how deep his issue was with his name until now.

Jun's head suddenly peeked in. "Ren, act more civil next time please. What you said should be heard only in the privacy of your bedroom!" She didn't look angry at all though; in fact, she looked very, very amused. And the entertained look on her face heightened when both of our faces flamed in embarrassment.

After she left, he glared at me. "I'm warning you, Pirika. My mother mustn't hear you address me that way. You're supposed to be my fiancée."

"U-Understood, R…Ren-kun." I blushed, the name sounding strangely tender. Ren Tao was a name of a fierce warrior, and Ren' nii-san was a name that promised strength and power. Ren-kun though…no matter how much I try to make it sound reverent, my tongue only always manages to roll it out of my lips…intimately.

I wasn't able to see how he felt about the way I call him now. He was already settled in front of the table, looking down at the breakfast table as if inspecting a laboratory table filled with guinea pigs. He looked at the scrambled eggs and scowled. "How come it wasn't cooked sunny side-up?"

"I…I broke the yolk when I was turning it over," I explained. "Would you like me to cook again?"

"No," he said curtly. "I'm hungry already. I'll make do with this." He looked at the toast, then at the milk carton. Wordlessly, he began his meal.

"Water, R…Ren-kun?" My voice wavered a little. The new name was still alien in my lips.

"What's wrong with my name?" he asked, annoyed. "It's not in Latin. It has one syllable only, compromised of three letters. For pete's sake, there's even a vowel in my name! Why can't your pronounce it without stammering?"

"I-I'm not used…to call men older than me by their names alone," I confessed.

"Am I that old?" he wanted to know.

I bit my lip. "N-No. I-I'm too young."

Silence. He said that to me six years ago, and I still couldn't forget that.

He picked his fork up again. "Not anymore," he said quietly.

I suddenly felt the urge to look at him, but his attention was back on his meal.

"I-Is Ren-kun fine?" I asked out of having nothing to say. 

"You make it sound nice," he shrugged.

I couldn't help it. I giggled at his words.

He looked up, demanding to know what was so funny. I shook my head, still laughing. Ren Tao still had his sense of humor intact, after all.

Maybe, just maybe, there was still hope of us being good friends.

I sat down on the grassy garden of the Tao mansion, watching him do his exercise- some slashing workouts under the bamboo tree.

I knew he was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the audience, especially one who readily gasps and jumps in fright whenever he hits himself accidentally with his own weapon.

But I didn't want to stay in the mansion. No, don't get me wrong. Ren's elder sister was very kind-hearted and was in fact very happy when he presented me as his fiancée.

No, the thing is, I wanted to be close to my "fiancé". I was informed that his birthday was a week from now, and I knew that after that, I would never see him again. So now here I am, savoring every moment that we were together. Not _together _together, but together in one space, breathing the same air, standing in the same ground. It was giving me a strange feeling of contentment and serenity that I never knew of for the entire six years that I had stayed in Japan.

"You're distracting me," he complained at last when he missed his target for the nth time.

"Gomen…"

"I'm starting to grow weary of that word," he muttered.

I merely gazed at him. I couldn't possibly tell him now why I was doing this. The last time that I became honest with my feelings for him, it prompted both of us to do something stupid. This time, I won't be too rushed. I would take my time in showing him my feelings.

"Let's go in and treat your wounds," I said instead.

He rolled his eyes, bur surprisingly, he trailed after me.

As I wiped his arms with warm water, he remained staring at me, silent. I took no notice of it, even though it was all I could do to tremble beneath his piercing gaze. I tried not to look at his shirtless torso too, the smooth ripples of fleshes that were strengthened by those everyday training…

I vaguely remembered feeling this way when I went on a field trip to an art museum. The paintings were all so beautiful, and I wanted to run my hands on the landscape of colors, but the curator said, "No touch, only look."

The same frustration was overwhelming me too, only this time it was much worse. 

At last, he spoke up. "Why did you run away six years ago?"

I forced a careless laugh. "Iie! I didn't run away. My brother and I had just decided that it will do him good if he returns home and regain his memory there."

"I don't believe you," he said simply.

I paused from my work. "W-Why not?" I asked quietly.

"Why didn't you even inform me that you were leaving?" he demanded.

I licked my lips nervously. "B-Because it was a last minute decision."

"Last minute decision my ass!" he yelled, and I shut my eyes instinctively. I felt him hesitate, then exhale deeply. "Tell that to the marines, Pirika," he said, his voice much calmer than awhile ago. "Why did you leave the mansion without letting me know?"

I picked up the towel. "B-Because I didn't think I have to. My brother and I…we're burdening you enough."

"I feel that you have another reason, and you're not being totally honest," he said. "And put that damn thing down and look at me. I'm talking to you."

I shook my head. "We need to nurse those wounds-" I gasped when he grabbed the towel and threw it away.

"I hate it when people try to reason with me." His hand reached for me, and the next thing I knew, his finger was gingerly tipping my chin up to meet his gaze. "And when they don't look at me in the eye when telling something. It gives me the feeling that this person is hiding something from me."

"Why did you suddenly disappear?" he asked again. "I looked everywhere for you…no one told me you left China already until Pailong returned. You made a fool out of me."

"W-Who told you to look for me anyway?" I managed to ask.

I saw his eyes shake, and before I could apologize, I realized that he was intending to do something.

The diminishing inches of gap between our faces…his breathing fanning my face…

Déjà vu.

Good Lord, he was going to kiss me.

"Ren?" Jun's head peeked in, then blinked embarrassedly. "Oh my god! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-" She shut the door.

But the damage was already done. Ren let go of me suddenly, face dark. He left the room wordlessly.

"Ren-kun!" I cried breathlessly. "P-Put your shirt on first, please! Y-You might catch cold!"

He did come back, but only to take his shirt. He wore it, then slipped out of the room again.

When the door shut, I felt myself collapse on the sofa chair weakly. After all these years, I still wanted him.

But why did he suddenly feel the urge to kiss me? Surely, it couldn't be because he was attracted to me. Maybe it was because he got carried away with the tension…yeah, that must be it, maybe.

But one thing was for sure, I did not get carried away. I knew that I would kiss him back the moment his lips touch mine. I would do so with all my heart, with all my love.

For I still am madly in love with Ren-kun.

**Tsuzuku**


	6. 6

My fingers were itching, and I couldn't hold my chopsticks right. I was getting annoyed already, because I couldn't even do a simple thing like eating correctly. My eyes crossed to the other side of the table, where my sister was eating.

"Where is Pirika?" I asked at last.

She looked up, eyes puzzled. "You don't know where your future wife went?"

"When I ask a question, I expect an answer, onee-san," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Ah, fine." She shrugged. "She's by the river, if I'm not mistaken. She always stays there back when she was fourteen."

I could have said, "I knew that!" because I often see her there too, but decided I shouldn't. I had enough of my sister's teasings to last me a couple of lifetimes. She had always believed that I looked for Pirika because she had been the idea of a wife I had conjured even when I was just fifteen years old. She didn't believe me when I said I ran out of options for a bride so I fetched Pirika.

"Didn't you tell her that she should eat with us at mealtimes?" I asked.

"I did that, but maybe she lost track of time," said my sister. "And maybe, you better go there and see her yourself. No matter how much you ask me, I can never answer satisfactorily because I am not Pirika,"

"I know that!" I barked at last. "I'm not stupid!" 

"Yes, I know," she said, smiling patronizingly.

This was one of the times I wished my sister would marry already so she would stop paying attention to my life too much.

She took a picnic basket and started to place food in there. "Here, Ren. Bring her this so she can eat there."

"Go ask Pailong to do it," I said, picking up my weapon. I wanted to get started on my training again.

"You're here, so why else would I ask for my kyoshin? Besides, Pirika would appreciate it more if you are the one to bring this to her, you know." She thrusted the basket into my hands. "Here."

True enough, I found Pirika by the river, kneeling by it. She was…doing the laundry?!

She looked up when she heard footsteps. Her face lit up. "Ren-kun!"

I suppressed a smile- something that I found hard to do because her smile always solicits an automatic response within me. "Why didn't you eat with us awhile ago?"

Her smile vanished. "G-Gomen nasai. I lost track of time."

"Later at dinnertime, you must be in the dining room at seven," I instructed.

She nodded.

My eyes went on the basin and the clothes. "Why are you not using the washing machine?"

She shrugged. "Your clothes cleaning instructions say that they must be hand washed."

"These are my clothes?!!" I yelped. I noticed my black briefs and knew that these clothes were mine. I fought the colors threatening to rise on my face. "But…"

"Wives wash clothes for their husbands. Why would I be any different?" There was no trace of malice in her eyes, that I told myself I should be similar. It meant nothing to her that she was washing my undergarments, so why should I be so concerned?

She then noticed the picnic basket. "You're going on a picnic, Ren-kun?"

My eyes followed her gaze. "N-No," I admitted. "This is for you. You didn't eat so…"

Faint blush tinted her cheeks. "Y-You shouldn't have."

"I did, so eat it," I snapped. I knelt down and opened the basket. I took out the picnic blanket and spread it on the space beside her. I began to lay down the food my sister packed.

She quickly washed the soap from her hands and joined me on the picnic blanket. "Arigatou, Ren-kun."

The corners of my mouth twitched. As the days passed, she was starting to say my name without stammering.

She bit on her sandwich as I absentmindedly poured juice for her in the glass. I paused when I felt her stunned gaze. I was just handing the glass of orange juice at her.

"F-For me?" she asked at last.

It hit me only now why she was so puzzled. Why was I serving her anyway? I hid my embarrassment in a bark. "Of course! It's just the two of us here!"

Her cerulean eyes danced. "A-Arigatou…"

"First, gomen nasai. Now, arigatou," I said, sighing exasperatedly.

"But I am thankful," she protested.

"Right, right, just continue eating." My eyes went to her wrinkled skin on the hand. "There are maids that will wash my clothes. If you are concerned about the hand wash instructions, I'm sure my sister could instruct the, You don't have to do this."

She looked up and smiled. "But I _want_ to do this."

I frowned. "But your hands…"

"Oh, these?" She held her hands up that she used in washing my clothes. "This will disappear when my hands become dry."

"Why do you want doing things for me?" I asked, puzzled.

"Serving you makes me happy," she said simply.

I handed her another sandwich. "Eat this."

She shook her head. "No, thank you. I am quite full. I'll save it for later."

 "That rabbit meal satisfied you?" I asked.

"Uh-huh." She started to clear the plates when I stopped her. 

"I'll do it," I said.

She blinked. "E-Er, if you say so." She went back to her laundry. I, on the other hand, finished packing the basket. I decided to postpone my training for a few more minutes. I lied down on the grass, looking at the sky. We were silent for a moment, engrossed in our own activities. 

"Pirika?"

"Hmm?"

"You still haven't answered my question yet. Why did you leave the mansion without telling me?" I asked.

I heard her sigh. "Was it necessary?" she asked after awhile.

"Hell, of course it was!" I said, though I didn't elaborate. I myself didn't know the exact reason why it was necessary.

"I didn't think you would care," she confessed. "I mean, we're just a couple of freeloaders in your home."

"You still owe it to tell me your whereabouts. You are my responsibility…" I paused. "You and your brother."

"I'm sorry."

"Alright," I said. I was about to shut my eyes when I heard a splashing sound. I opened one eye and saw Pirika wading in the water, reaching for my black underwear. I shut my eyes embarrassedly. "No big deal," I tried to tell my burning self. "She is my future wife, pretend future wife, but future wife still."

Suddenly, I heard her scream. That was when I felt my heart jump up and fall down at the same time. "Pirika!!!" I yelled, jumping up.

She was being carried by the fast currents of the river! Her head bobbed up and down the waters, screaming for help.

Without thinking twice, I jumped into the water and swam towards her. I raced with the currents as I tried to reach for her. "Hang on, I'm coming!!!"

Within seconds, I reached her shoulders. I yanked her towards me, but we submerged under the water. I opened my eyes under the surface and realized that the riverfloor had disappeared. I had no idea that we had come this far in the river. The water was safe in our spot awhile ago, but this part…it was going to lead us to one of the big rivers in our country! 

I pulled Pirika up with me to make her breathe, and fortunately, we found a drifting piece of wood. I swam towards it, pulling her along with me. Now we were afloat.

"Pirika? Pirika?" I hissed, shaking her roughly. "Wake up, damn you! Don't frighten me!" My eyes scanned the surroundings and sighed in relief when I saw that we were going to pass a part of the river close to the land. I tensed my muscles and hugged her tightly. I timed my moves, and at the second we passed the ground, I let go of the wood and swam towards the grass, ignoring the currents. Fortunately, we made it back on dry land.

But I didn't relax. My eyes went to Pirika, who was still unconscious. "Pirika, Pirika, wake up, please!" I begged. My hands trembled. "Come on, you idiot. Open your eyes…" I pumped on her chest frantically, then pinched her nose. I bent down to give her a CPR, but in the last minute, she coughed out water. I sighed audibly in overwhelming relief.

She opened her eyes weakly. "Ren-kun…"

"Damn you, that was hell frightening!" I hissed, but she wasn't frightened, for the first time. Maybe because I could feel no real anger within me, just relief…and gratitude…that we both made it out alive.

Mostly, because she was alive.

Oh hell, what was I thinking?

Her hand reached for the inside of her blouse and pulled out something. "I…here…I saved it," she said, voice wobbly.

She was holding out my black briefs, with the white name, Ren embroidered into it, no doubt by my sister.

I took it, laughing. "You risked your life for this, you idiot?"

"I love you," she whispered, and it cued for everything around us to stop.

I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. All I could do was just stare at her in shock.

And she fainted in my arms.

**tsuzuku**


	7. 7

"Aw!" I screamed. I had waken up, startled, and bumped my forehead on a jaw or something.

I heard someone mutter profanities. I was forced to look up and to my utter shock, it was Ren Tao!

I shut my eyes and counted up to ten _very slowly_. When I finished it, I opened my eyes again. Now I could see Ren's glaring face.

"What's the big idea?" he hissed.

I gulped. I didn't know whether I was still dreaming or not anymore. I mean, his glare looked realistic enough. But his arms around my tiny waist, holding me close to him, definitely was not part of my Real Ren Tao Realities checklist. 

He must've read my eyes, because he promptly untangled himself away from me.

"You were feverish," he said defensively. "You were moaning all night, and…and…why the hell am I explaining things to you?"

I blinked. "You tell me…"

"Anyway, I'm glad you look ok already," he said, voice softening. He touched my forehead. "Yup, fever's gone."

I vaguely remembered what happened yesterday…or was it awhile ago? I fell into the water and almost drowned, but thanks to Ren, I didn't.

Something was telling me that something else happened, it was just that I couldn't remember it. But if I couldn't remember it, maybe it wasn't really that significant.

"I still can't believe it," he hissed. "You nearly drowned because you were saving my underwear."

I smiled weakly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry… and I thought you might get mad at me because I lost one of the articles of clothings you have…"

"I could have lost you," he hissed.

I blinked again.

"And I could have lost a bride to show to my parents!" he said hurriedly. He got up from bed. "Anyway, that is absolutely the last time that you would go near that river, do you understand? That place is no place for klutzes like you."

"U-Understood." Maybe this was Ren Tao's way of expressing concern.

_Yeah right_, I told my heart sarcastically. Why would Ren-kun be concerned about me? He only jumped readily into the river because he didn't want to go out in the last minute to search for a bride who would take my place. Besides, he may hate me, but I am pretty sure that he still thinks of me as a fellow human to save.

That thought suddenly struck me, making me feel pathetic. Had not been for my stupid volunteering for his bride, I wouldn't have to be fetched by Ren anymore, and I could have continued to live peacefully in Japan with my brother and Tamao' nee-san. I would have been contented in just remembering him, and not like this, when I could see him but I couldn't touch him, lest he would disappear.

And the next thing I knew, I was weeping quietly.

"Now what?" he asked, annoyed. But there was a hint of panic in his voice. "A-Are you hurt?"

I shook my head. "I want to go home."

He frowned. "Look, the accident that happened to you…it will never happen again, trust me."

"I-It's not about the accident," I whispered. "I just don't want to stay here any longer," I replied quietly.

"Why? Is anyone treating you unjustly?" he pressed.

I shook my head. "No…I just…don't want to continue pretending anymore."

"You can't back out!" he exclaimed. "My parents will be here the day after tomorrow!"

"T-They will?!" My eyes widened. I didn't count on THAT happening so soon!

"Yes, so you can't change your mind about this, Pirika. Three days from now, it's my birthday already. All you have to do is to pretend to be my fiancée. I've already arranged for the engagement and all." Ren grabbed my shoulders. "Just hang on for two to three more days, alright?"

I nodded with much difficulty. What big a difference would it make if I try to suppress my feelings for him for seventy-two hours longer? And I did make a promise, and I would never intend to break one, on an Ainu's honor.

"Good. Now rest, then you and I will go downtown. We'll pick up something you'll wear when we meet my folks," he instructed me.

Later in the afternoon, Ren called for me. I was brought in front of a stretch limo, with Ren sitting at the back.

"What are you just standing there for?" he barked. "We don't have all day!"

"H-Hai!" I was about to go for the front seat, but Pailong gentlemanly ushered me towards where Ren was seated. I had no choice but to sit down beside him.

"Why you would rather sit beside a corpse driver than me is beyond me," he said when we were settled at the backseat comfortably already.

Before I could reply, I felt his arm drape around my shoulder comfortably. I looked at him in surprise, and found him looking directly ahead of us, as if what he just did and was doing was perfectly natural.

"You should start getting used to that," he said at last. "You're supposed to be my fiancée, and close physical contact will do wonders for our supposed relationship."

"I-I understand," I stammered. My skin was tingling all over, especially when Ren's fingers started to tease the skin of my bared shoulders lightly. I was wearing a sleeveless white top, so I was very sensitive to these kinds of touch.

"Smooth. Never had the chance to really touch you because I was too busy saving your life," he said nonchalantly. My cheeks flushed.

I tried to just numb myself all throughout the trip to the suburbs, but it had been a Herculean effort. And I couldn't fight the alarming awareness I had of his intimate proximity all this time.

We stopped by a dressmaker's shop. To my surprise, Ren jumped out of the car before me. He crossed over to the other side and raced with Pailong for opening the car door for me. He took me by hand and led me inside.

A cheerful-looking young woman almost the same age with Jun Tao was behind the desk. Her plentiful hair was held by barrettes. "Ren Tao, finally, the day that the entire clan had all been waiting for has finally arrived." She looked at me sideways. "Is she 'it'?"

"I prefer that you call her my 'bride', Gei Yin," said Ren dryly.

"She's a pretty little thing, but…" To my utter shock, she suddenly aimed a fist at me. By instinct, I shoved the closest person in front of me- a habit I had picked up because I was so used to having my brother beside me, and it was ok for him if he gets the accident.

However, I forgot one itsy-bitsy thing…it wasn't onii-chan that was beside me right now.

"Damn it!" Ren held his aching nose. "Pirika, what were you thinking???"

"Well at least I know she knows a little self-defense," said Gei, smiling. "Your sister and your mother has talked to me long ago, and I already had the design for her clothes even if you were just starting to learn how to hold your weapon. And last week, your sister gave me the measurements. I have finished the clothes now."

"Right, right. Give us the clothes and we'll go," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Nonsense! We still have to try it on her to see if there are still things that needed to be adjusted in the clothes!"

He groaned. "Right, right. Let's just start so we can get over with it."

"I trust that your own set of clothes had been delivered?"

"Yeah, it was," he said curtly before sitting down the visitor's area. I, on the other hand, was led to the dressing room to try my clothes on.

Yin looked satisfied when she first made me try the clothes I will wear for my meeting with Ren-kun's parents.

"Your face is so sweet and innocent, and it perfectly complements the virgin whiteness of this outfit," said the designer approvingly. "Now all I have to do is to ask Jun to do your hair tomorrow and apply some subtle make-up for finishing effect."

I frowned. "If it has to be subtle, why bother applying make-up then?"

The only reply solicited from her was a very amused laugh.

"Next, the wedding gown…"

I suddenly froze. "N-No, I don't want to try it."

"Eh?"

"I…I heard that if one wears her bridal gown before the actual wedding, that wedding will not take place," I said.

"That's foolish, honey. But if you really believe that, let's just press it on top of you. Anyway, the measurements given to me were pretty accurate." She made some notes on her scribble pad, then watched as I placed my top back on. Her eyes went to my sleeveless top, then at my slacks. "Dear, I have a spare outfit here that will be more fitting if you and Ren will be planning to dine out." She left, only to return a few seconds late, bringing two boxes.

She winked at me. "You have to look your best, honey. You are engaged to the head of the Tao clan, you know."

I knew it was a mistake when I forced myself to step out of the dressing room. Ren Tao literally stared at me, eyes wide.

I looked down self-consciously at the pale pink miniskirt that barely reached my knees, then at the open-toed sandals on my feet. I hugged my white shawl closer around me, as if it would protect me from the stare of Ren.

"Well, well, well. What can you say about my new model?" asked Yin proudly. "Speechless, Ren Tao? Why, that's the highest compliment anyone can pay a person."

"Y-You don't like it, Ren-kun?" I stammered, playing with the stray strands of my hair tied down in a pale pink ribbon the same color as my dress. "I-I'll go change…"

Finally, he spoke up. "It's fine. Let's leave."

I bit my lip. I was expecting that he would at least like the shoes, but he didn't even say anything.

Yin smiled at me comfortingly. "Don't worry, dear. Ren Tao loved your look; it's just that he's too shy to say that out loud. Ask him later."

"I-I thought we're going home already…" I looked at the sign of the jewelry house.

"One last trip before we hit home," he said, then just like what he did awhile ago, opened the car door for me. This time, Pailong didn't bother to race with his master anymore.

Together, we entered the store. We were immediately flocked on by the salesladies who were urging us to buy different kinds of rings. But I knew better; some were standing close to him. I knew I had no right to be jealous, but try telling that to my stupid heart which didn't know any better.

"Which do you want?" he asked, looking at me intently.

I shook my head.

He followed my gaze and saw why my eyes were wide in horror. He covered the price tags. "Now tell me which do you want," he ordered.

"Um…isn't this too much, Ren-kun? The dress is a fine gift already. I don't need a ring…" I said helplessly.

He sighed. "We're engaged; we NEED a ring."

I had no choice but to look at the beautiful rings again. Finally, I chose the one that has my birthstone, along with Ren-kun's. We were then told that it was sold in a juego, by set of bracelet, earrings and necklace. Ren bought the whole collection.

"Come again, Sir! Have a nice day!" the manager of the store said, waving as she held on the crisp check from the Tao Group of Bank Companies.

I was still staring at the jewelries in the box in disbelief. "This is not just a small fortune, Ren-kun," I said quietly. "You shouldn't have bothered to buy me this."

"Why not?" he wanted to know.

"B-Because this might just go to waste," I stammered.

"You like the jewelry, don't you?" he asked. I nodded meekly. "Then this won't go to waste," he decided. "End of argument." He looked at his watch. "The day is not yet done. Onee-san will give you a crash course on what you need to remember when you are talking to my parents. Later on, we'll have to practice our own act too."

"Own act?" I said, bewildered.

"Duh. The most crucial thing in this play is our acting," he said, rolling his eyes. "We have to look realistic when we do things that couples do."

"L-Like…?" I asked, almost afraid to know what he would say.

He laughed mockingly. "Oh come on, Pirika. Don' tell me you didn't have any boyfriend yet before?"

I shook my head slowly.

He turned serious. "I see." He turned away, but I was able to catch a gleam of delight in his eyes. I sighed; was he mocking me because no one had the mistake of liking me?

The car halted. "Let's go, Pirika," he said. 

I nodded. But to my shock, he leaned towards my ear. "Your dress looks good on you."

My face turned pink. It was not an extravagant compliment, but coming from Ren-kun, it was _something_.

He offered me a small smile of amusement in return, then escorted me back into the mansion.

**tsuzuku**


	8. 8

_:: Gomen for the shortness of this chapter update; I still have to watch the Halloween special on tv tonight so I had no time to type a decent chapter. I will make it up on the next chapter ::_

Onee-san, Pirika and I were seated on the dining table as my sister instructed the Ainu about what to do and not to do when talking with my parents.

"Most likely, it will be my mother who would want to know the things about the woman my brother will marry," said my green-haired sibling, giving me a quick glance. She placed her eyes back on the nervous girl beside me. "Just try to give as many honest answers about yourself. When you are honest, you don't have to remember much."

"H-How does it go again?" asked Pirika timidly, cheeks red. "H-How did Ren-kun and I meet before?"

My sister smiled. "My brother fell in love with you even just when the shaman fight was still going on. He loved you secretly, and if not for your brother's accident that brought you close to him, he would have ignored his feelings. He was constantly with you, so it wasn't hard for your brotherly affection for him to develop into something more intimate. And before you left with your brother, he asked you if you want to be his bride and be the mistress of the Tao clan. You tried to object, saying you were too young, but he said that you would grow up someday. Years later, he fetched you, and by then, you were old enough to know that you love him too."

"You should have made a living in writing novels, Onee-san," I said, rolling my eyes. "What you said is too fictitious. Do you think our parents will believe that?"

Pirika blushed some more. Ironically, it was like our own story, only narrated vice versa. But my sister didn't have to know that.

"Our father wouldn't care, and our mother, I'm sure, would be simply too relieved to know that you will not live your life alone like she fears before," said my sister reassuringly. "Just act convincingly. Internalize your romance."

"Internalize?" My brow shot up quizzically. That sounded something actors were instructed to do.

"Live and breathe your role. Try to act like a real couple," she explained. "You have the whole night to try to get used to each other's presence, for when our parents arrive, they would expect that you guys are really in love."

I could see from the corner of my eyes that Pirika's face was getting more crimson in every passing minute, if that could be possible. "Enough," I said, frowning. I turned to Pirika. "Let's start rehearsing our act."

"H-Hai," she said, quickly following me.

We ended up in the balcony, where I remembered I had first kissed an angelic child with passion meant for a sensuous woman.

I felt her stiffen, and I knew that she had not forgotten that fateful night too. I turned to her, the trademark confident Tao smirk on my lips. It was the only defense possible to protect myself from her wide, bewitching deep blue eyes.

"I figured that this place might inspire us with our internalization," I said, gesturing to the place.

"H-Hai." She nodded and sat down quickly, eyes on the ground.

I sat in front of her and brought out a piece of paper containing the facts Pirika and I had to memorize about each other. "Now from the top, let's see if you memorize the things about me." I asked for my birthday, my Chinese zodiac sign, my first weapon, who gave me Bason, and what is the brand of my favorite milk drink, among other things. She was able to answer each and every question correctly, and my confidence was starting to grow. 

"My favorite person is?"

"Your sister?" she guessed.

I smiled. "Yes, and you."

Her eyes widened.

"I oblige you to make me your favorite person too when my mother asks us," I said, averting my gaze. I couldn't stand seeing a girl blush so much. For some reason, it was tugging something in my heart.

"I-I'll remember that."

I looked down at the piece of paper, then shrugged. "That was the last question. It's your turn now to ask me about yourself."

For the first few questions, I got her facts right, although I missed some questions. Perhaps it proves that she knows more about me than I know about her. I decided to review tonight so I won't embarrass her in front of my parents.

"My favorite person?" she asked.

"Me," I replied simply.

"And Onii-chan," she said sort of defiantly.

"Right, right. What is it about me that you like?" I heard myself asking.

She too, looked surprised with the question. I was done with my turn of asking.

"Just answer it!" I said through gritted teeth.

"I like you because you are like my brother in so many ways," she began softly. "You are both strong and determined, and can be vain and cocky in delightful ways. You both excel in fighting, although your styles are different. Y-You are both good-looking too…"

"Then you love me as a brother only!" I exclaimed even before I could stop myself. My heart sank at the thought as I remembered that what I heard by the river was just a…

She paused, blushing. "Iie…in some ways, you are different from Onii-chan too. My brother is vocal about his feelings, and you are as mysterious as the night, and to understand you, a person must be very close to you already."

"You like that?" I asked in disbelief.

"I like everything about you, Ren-kun," she burst out.

Silence.

I tried to piece together pieces of coherent words to say afterwards, but my speech ability was rendered useless by what she said.

She licked her lips nervously. "D-Did what I say displeased you, Ren-kun? I-I'm sorry then. I didn't mean it."

I didn't know whether that brought me relief or what. "I don't care if you mean it or not. If you act like that, it means you're starting to internalize what we're doing. I don't mind if you say that again in front of my mother and father."

She nodded. "Um, if it's ok with you, maybe I can go in already?"

My eyes narrowed at her. "Am I that horrendous-looking that I end up just scaring you every time?"

"I don't like being alone with you," she admitted.

"Why?" I asked, slightly wincing at her frankness. She must be really that desperate to get away from me.

"Because I don't know what I should do next," she said softly. "You're a stranger in every way, and whenever I think of the coming day that I would go and pretend to your parents that we're not unfamiliar with each other…"

I sighed. "Then why ever did you offer yourself to be my bride years ago?"

"I was just a child then. I didn't know the consequences and things I had to go through," she explained softly. "If I only knew back then that this awkwardness between us will happen, then I wouldn't have opened my big mouth."

"Then I should have seized my chance back then," I said quietly. "Back when you were still a child. I wish you didn't have to grow up, I wished I didn't wait anymore."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, astounded.

"Nothing!" I said sarcastically. "I'm spouting out nonsense! Don't listen to me!"

"Ren-kun?"

I stood up, glaring at her. "Don't be difficult, Pirika. You will be my fiancée in two days so whether you like it or not, you have no choice but to know this stranger in front of you."

And with that, I left, my own mind in turmoil.

**tsuzuku**


	9. 9

The next morning, I nervously went down to join Ren and his sister in the breakfast table.

"Good morning," I mumbled, looking at Jun briefly, then at him.

"Good morning," beamed Jun. "You two still have today to practice."

"H-Hai," I stammered. I could feel the intent gaze of Ren on me. Finally, he spoke up.

"Your ring," he said.

"Oh!" I forgot that I took it off awhile ago while I was washing my hands last night. "I'll go get it."

"Do it later," he instructed. "Eat your breakfast first. You didn't get your dinner last night."

"Y-Yes." I was about to reach for the seat beside Jun when he suddenly stood up and pulled out the seat beside him. 

"Here," he said, eyes on the chair.

"A-Arigatou…" I sat down the chair he was offering and allowed him to place the napkin on my lap.

Jun sighed. "Ren, if you guys act like that, you won't be able to convince even a toddler that you have something special between you two."

"Am I not doing it right?" he asked sourly. "You told me to be a gentleman."

"Yes, and not a waiter." She turned to me. "And you, Pirika, are shaking like a leaf. I know it is scary to see my brother act chivalrously, but try to contain your shock. You're supposed to like what he is doing."

"H-Hai."

Jun got up and smiled at us. "You have to perfect your couple act, you guys. Hmm…why don't you two go out on a date?"

"D-Date?!" Ren and I exclaimed at the same time.

She blinked. "Yes, well, that's what couples do, right?"

Ren groaned. "Nee-san, haven't I explained the situation clearly yet to you? This is all an act."

"A realistic acting, I must remind you," she said.

"Fine, but dating is out of the question."

"Pailong told me you bought her a jewelry set," said Jun. "I don't see why taking her out on a date would bother you so much. It's more inexpensive."

"We need the jewelry for the engagement," he said through gritted teeth. "We're not talking about the price here."

"Alright, but I'll lock you two up in a room," said Jun.

"Nani?!!"

"It is either you take her out on a date or I'll lock you two up in your room until you two start to get familiar with each other," said Jun, crossing her legs elegantly.

"Is that a blackmail?" he asked, as my heart sank. Why was Jun forcing the issue so much? I was feeling more and more pathetic every passing minute. It was very obvious that he didn't want to be with me.

"Call it whatever you want," said his sister calmly.

Ren groaned, then turned to me. "Get dressed."

I was determined to save my pride. "No, I think I would rather stay here."

"You heard me once, Pirika. Get dressed or I'll dress you myself," he ordered.

I clenched my fists and turned my back on him. I knew that it was perhaps an exaggerated threat, but still, the threat came from Ren Tao, and I was afraid that he might just do as he warned.

Jun got up and followed me. "Pirika, I'll lend you my clothes."

I managed a weak smile. "Thank you."

Soon, Pailong was driving us in the limo already. I rubbed my hands together nervously. Ren Tao was seated beside me, quiet. But he was just like a dormant volcano waiting to erupt any moment. It was frightening, indeed, but still, I couldn't help but be fascinated by how he could be so fiercely handsome when mad.

I looked down at my lap, not knowing how to start a conversation. Should we talk about the weather? Should we review those personal facts sheet we studied yesterday?

My thoughts were interrupted when the car halted abruptly. I was caught by surprise, and had nearly been thrown forward had not for his arms that were quick to hold me back.

I slowly looked up at him to say my thanks, but he was busy glaring at our driver. "Pailong, be more careful!"

"My apologies, Master Ren!" came Pailong's voice.

He looked down at me, and for a fleeting second, his eyes softened.

"S-Sorry," I stammered, my cheeks burning.

"OK," he said softly, but he didn't let go of me. He hugged me close to him, gently laying my head on his shoulders. He placed his chin on my hair and sighed audibly. "I was really intending to take you out on a date," he began. "I was going to invite you out, but I didn't want my sister to interfere. I don't want her to blackmail me into doing something either."

I nodded, understanding him. Ren Tao was used to doing things because he wanted to do it, not because others wanted him to. 

I suddenly prayed that this moment would freeze; that it wouldn't end anymore. This was the first moment that I had felt his gentleness, and it was almost enough to make me cry. I wouldn't have known that a fiercely courageous and powerful tiger like him had tenderness like this sleeping within him.

"I didn't mean to shout at you," he said finally, murmuring it against my hair. "I never really meant to hurt you…but I end up always doing so."

I froze. I had this feeling that he was not referring anymore to the incident over the breakfast table awhile ago.

"I don't know what I would do with you…you're too precious…too fragile…" He stopped talking, but his embrace tightened. I quietly snuggled closer to him.

He inhaled deeply, as if he was preparing to say something. "Pirika, listen. About what happened six years ago…"

I stiffened.

"Master Ren, we're in the restaurant already!" announced Pailong cheerfully.

Ren looked like he snapped out of his trance. He looked outside and saw the sign. He smiled. "So we are." He turned to me. "Let's go in, Pirika."

My eyes widened at the elegant exterior of the Chinese restaurant. "I-I'm not dressed!"

"You are," he said, eyes taking in appreciatively my emerald mandarin-collared dress accented with silk ribbons. His eyes then went on my lap. "But I wish Nee-san gave you one with no slit," he said, almost sounding possessive.

I chided myself silently. Ren wouldn't be possessive; I'm not his in the truest sense. Maybe he was just concerned…no, couldn't be. Annoyed, yes, that must be it. His fiancée baring her skin with the slit…that must be it.

"Let's go," he said.

I blinked. He was already outside, holding the car door open for me, offering his arm. I smiled and took his arm.

"Did you enjoy the meal?" he asked when we returned from the restaurant.

I laughed. "Yes, but only because you knew what to order." When I looked at the menu awhile ago, I was immediately dizzy from the names. Some of them were quite tricky to spell and pronounce, and I couldn't imagine myself eating anything that I couldn't even say!

I was starting to relax; perhaps, because he bought me a glass of something like wine. When I asked him what it was, he said it was a "spirited drink" that the restaurant always reserves for him and his family.

"Let's go to the park," he suddenly suggested.

I blinked. "But what we are wearing…" My eyes went on the formal outfits both of us were wearing.

"Parks don't have a dress code, and anyway, what do they care?" he asked.

I nodded. Right, what do they care anyway?

Later, I was watching Ren fly a kite. I couldn't help but admire how nature worshipped his beautiful form; from he wind blowing on both his kite and his hair gently to the grass that willingly bowed to the mighty steps of the Tao, his graceful movement was timed in poetic beauty.

I wish I had a camera. I would have appreciated a souvenir of him when I return home after I meet his parents.

Ren turned to me. "Come here, I'll teach you how to fly a kite."

I pointed to myself, and he laughed.

"You're the only one here aside from myself." He ran towards me and helped me up. "It's more fun to do the actual thing than just to watch from the sidelines."

His hands guided mine on how to handle the string of the kite. I was aware of his arms around mine, and I was surprised to feel that I was starting to be familiar of his presence, of his intimate closeness. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.

"Don't hold the strings too tightly, or the kite might not fly," he told me. "But don't loosen your hold too much, or the wind will take it away."

"How's this?" I asked, showing him my grip.

"Fine," he said, nodding approvingly. "You hold kites better than I do."

"Hontou?" I asked, cheeks flushed.

He nodded. "When I was a young boy, I've always wanted to fly a kite just like other boys my age did. I didn't really want to train, but my father said I was a different boy because I was a shaman." He looked up at the sky, a nostalgic look on his face. "But I was rebellious by nature. One day, I escaped from my training and built myself a kite. It was pretty shabby, but I was very proud of it. It was red and blue, I remember."

"So there I was, trying to make my kite fly. Nee-san found me, and told me that the trick of flying it just doesn't rely on running fast, but also on how you hold the string. He told me not too hold it tightly so it could fly. I didn't want to, because I was particularly proud of that kite. However, I tried loosening my grip a little, and it did fly higher than it used to. However, I abruptly loosened my hold on the string, and the wind blew it away. I could never forget that moment. It was my most important treasure, and because of my recklessness, I lost it."

I nodded, not wishing to interrupt him.

"When I was thirteen, I had another chance to find a kite. But the kite was so small, and I was afraid that if I already fly it, it would just get beaten up by the wind. I also know that I do not want to hurt it by severing my hold on its tender string, so I decided to set it aside, but the kite disappeared. All that was left was its strings, but I never stopped hoping that I'll find it, if I only follow its trail of string. Six years later, I found the kite again. This time around, I promise that I'll never part with my kite again. I love my kite even more than I loved the first kite I built when I was a child," he finished.

I looked at him. "May I see that kite?"

He smiled mysteriously, then turned his attention again to the kite that we were flying. I shrugged, then looked back again at the kite.

"Wow! It's soaring!" I gushed when our kite finally took off. I beamed at him, and he smiled back.

We spent the rest of the afternoon with the kite.

**tsuzuku**


	10. 10

More of a flashback, since I'm in a hurry (again). I'm trying to make it to the internet café by 7 pm so I can upload. ^^

That night, I accompanied the exhausted but visibly happy Pirika up the stairs when we returned home from the park where we spent the afternoon flying kites.

I still couldn't get over at how she could be so easily delighted by simple things like learning how to fly a kite with me, or eating hotdogs on sticks. She looked so much happier now than the time that I bought her the _juego_ of our engagement ring.

And I thought women were supposed to love jewelry more than anything. Pirika shamed the precious gems with her preference for wafer hotdogs.

For as long as I've known Pirika, she was always quiet and meek, submissive even. Far from the brat who used to beat the crap out of her brother back when the shaman fight was still going on. Although I have noticed that she acts a little different when I was present, I gave no meaning for it.

I guess I had always led myself to believe that what was between us was non-existent platonic bond, that she is different in interacting with me because I was her brother's rival for virtually every endeavor in life. Yet she broke that "safe" wall between us when she volunteered to be my bride one seemingly ordinary day.

_"Then I'll be your wife!" she burst out._

_I stopped walking. I could only gape at the girl, who was blushing, but there was evident fierce determination on her face, telling me that what she said wasn't just an outburst, and that she knew what she was doing._

_We locked gazes for what seemed like eternity, then I smirked. "I'm looking for a wife, not a baby. You're too young." I turned my back on her, but not quick enough to see her crestfallen face, and a tear that she quickly wiped away._

I sighed. But I didn't know what to say back then. One minute I was just brooding on my fiancée-less stage, and the next minute, the little sister of one of my rival-friends offered herself to me.

For the first time in my life, I was at lost as to what to say, what to do, or what to think. She stole my coherence.

It was then my instinct that acted, doing the only thing a wounded tiger would do to a doctor that he thought would only make his injury worse.

I pushed her away.

I could remember the shock on her young face, and the tear that trickled down her cheek. I could never erase that from my memory, because I could feel I hurt her. And the thing was, knowing I hurt her had hurt me too, perhaps more than I would ever acknowledge.

_"I-I'll grow up too. Wait for me, ok?"_

I didn't answer her, but within me, I think I said "yes".

Since then, I had never been the same. I couldn't look at her anymore the way I used to look at her before—a younger sister, a pest, a kid; or I would have committed incest, or she could have been the most welcome nuisance in my life, or that I was a pedophile. I knew I was none of those, but my stupid, irrational emotions make me feel so.

Yes, I attempt to mask my confusion with hostility and indifference, but unbelievably, she tolerates it all patiently.

And then, there was that fateful night that changed everything.

I was just going through my regular footwork exercises when I heard someone sobbing. My mind told me to ignore it, but heck, when had it been obeyed my heart anyway, as my father puts it?

There I saw her crumpled against the wall, crying her heart out. Concern immediately flooded me, which felt strange. I was never the one to be easily worried about any other people aside from those that were close to me, for instance, my onee-san.

And the ainu girl was crying again. Damn. Those tears were very powerful weapon, mind you, or how would it have eroded my heart.

As I fetched a blanket, I remembered what onee-san said about crying.

"Those tears are not sign of weaknesses, but strength. Tears are as soft as the waters in the sea, the same waters that mold the hard stones by the bed."

Now I understood what she means.

I made my way back to the balcony where Pirika was still seated, unaware of my presence. I draped the blanket on her shoulders. "You're too noisy, I can't train," I said just in time, before I could burst out with the question I knew would just put both of us in an awkward situation. That was how lethal to me the question "What's wrong?", because it meant concern, and I wasn't ready yet to accept that I had that kind of emotion for her.

And when she looked at me with those moist, clear blue eyes, I knew that I lost the battle of wits. From then on, I had no more control of my actions.

_"Damn, why do you have to be so talkative?" I yelled, my patience nearing its verge. "I came here because I don't want you to be alone! What if you commit suicide?" My feelings had been unwittingly released out of my anger, but she was too angry herself to notice that._

_"I'm not depressed!" she shot back, eyes crinkling in anger. "Just leave me alone!"_

_"No, I won't," I said firmly. "Fine, you can go continue your bawling, but I will not go."_

_"Go away! I don't need you here!" She tried to push me away, but I wouldn't budge. She pushed harder, and my hands caught hers. I pulled her closer to me fiercely._

_"Pirika, damn it! Shut up, will you?" I hissed._

_"Let me go!!!"_

_"Well, shut up!!!"_

_"I said, LET ME GO!!!"_

_Damn! She had tried my patience long enough. I grabbed her, then kissed her forcefully, urging her to keep quiet. And she did._

_But the silence proved more dangerous, because then, I felt that my kiss had lost its initial purpose to silence her. Now I knew that I was kissing her for the sake of kissing, for the sake of…_

_Damn! I pushed her away abruptly before I could drown in that kiss, and I knew that would be the ultimate stupidity._

_But when the feeling of emptiness filled me, I knew that this one beats that ultimate stupidity I was thinking of awhile ago._

I looked at the twenty-year-old Pirika who was unaware of my gaze, and how I traveled down the memory lane the whole time we were heading for her room.

_Why did you disappear six years ago?_

_Without even so much a goodbye?_

Had I only knew in time her escape plan, I wouldn't have let her out of my sight. The reason? I refused anymore to think, especially since we had reached the door already.

"Goodnight, Ren-kun," she said softly. "I had a most wonderful day."

I felt myself rendered speechless for a moment. I didn't know how to react again—Pirika could always take my power to think rationally.

Then it hit me. I didn't always have to know.

I just had to _feel_.

"Goodnight," I murmured back, then leaned down to plant a kiss on her forehead.

A kiss of reverence and admiration I knew I had for her since she was just a brat in the shaman fight.

Why I did that, or why I feel that, I did not know.

But sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

**tsuzuku**


	11. 11

Sorry for the delayed update. BTW, this will be my last update for all of my fics INDEFINITELY. My computer's gone bonkers and I can't have it fixed -.- (too expensive). Ah nwei, if ever the pc does get fixed and I get to type an update, I can email u guys. Just send me ur email addies, okies? ^^

"Ren-kun?" I frowned when I saw him slam the cell phone on the wall.

He turned to me, surprised. "How long had you been there?" he barked.

"J-Just now, actually." I wondered why he was suddenly snappy again. Yesterday and last night, he had been the most wonderful man in the world, even nearly making me forget about my brother. Why did he went back to his sour mood again?  "I-Is anything wrong?"

"No, no, actually I feel very fine," he said, voice dripping with heavy sarcasm. "I just found out from my mother that my father would be the one to meet you and would bring you to her in our clan house."

"S-So what's wrong with that?" I asked.

"My father." He crossed his arms. "I don't want you to meet him."

Pain must have stung my face visibly, or he wouldn't have quickly softened and explained, "My father is…evil."

"Ah!" I bit my lip.

"As much as possible, I would have wanted you to avoid meeting him in personal." He turned to the window. "He's not…human." And under his breath, I heard him mutter, "It's not you, it's _him_."

"I see." I scuffled my shoes on the ground. "I-I'll still do my best. It is inevitable, the meeting between him and his son's supposed would-be wife. Don't worry, Ren-kun, I will do my best to impress him. I'll show him that you did the right thing by choosing me for your wife!" I burst out, then realizing what I just said, I felt my cheeks burn. Why was I acting like the engagement was real anyway?

He paused, then turned his back on me. "I know."

He knows? He knows what? But I didn't bother asking anymore, since he was already starting to go. It was the end of the conversation.

That late morning, Jun was fixing my hair in two neat braids at the top of my head.

"Your hair is so silky soft…wish mine was like this," said Ren's sister, smiling as she combed some strands of my hair into a braid.

I smiled, although it was half-hearted. As hours passed by, I was growing more and more nervous of my encounter with Ren-kun's father, especially after what he had told me about him. What if he didn't like me? I forgot to ask Ren-kun about that.

I prayed that it would happen, just so the suspense of this pretend engagement would stop already, and I wouldn't have to fight the rekindling of my feelings for Ren Tao anymore. I would be back to living my secluded life in the forest once again, without having to confuse myself with the almost volcanic-like attitude of the Chinese shaman. I wouldn't have to worry anymore about evil fathers who aren't humans, or memorizing the facts about how I met Ren-kun and what I know about him.

"Oh dear! I forgot to buy ribbons!" cried Jun. "Pirika, would you mind if you wait a little longer while I buy—"

"I'll go buy," I volunteered quickly.

As I expected Jun' nee-san was quick to say no. "Ren told me that you have to be fresh for his father's arrival. Don't you remember, he didn't take you along when he fetched father today because he wants you to be prepared for their arrival?"

"Ah, it won't take me long," I said, almost beggingly. "I…I think I also need some fresh air."

That was when she noticed that I was pale and trembling. She brushed my hand kindly. "Don't be nervous. My brother would fight for you, no matter what. He fought and stood his ground for his first kite, do you know that? He would do the same thing for you."

I thought bitterly that the difference between his kite and me was that he loved the former, and he didn't care for me at all.

Jun sighed. "Very well. Go buy those ribbons, but be sure to come back as soon as possible so we can retouch your face."

"Argatou!" I bowed gratefully.

I was walking from the crafts store when I noticed a stout man walking down the road, head turning left and right. I immediately guessed that he was lost.

 With the charitable ainu spirit within me, I went to him to ask how he was doing. "Excuse me, are you looking for some place in particular?"

He looked at me as if I was the one who was lost and not him. "Get out of my way."

I groaned. "Gee, I was just trying to be helpful."

"Get out!"

I could feel the heads of the crowd turning to me. I fought back the flush in my cheeks and said smoothly, "I reckon that you were lost so I decided to ask you if you need help."

"Well, I don't," he said curtly. "I know my way around, this is my home."

"But awhile ago, you were looking left and right helplessly, so I thought—"

"I just wasn't used to the changes of the street," he said impatiently. "I've been away for some time and—"

"Ah!" I took his hand. "You might never make it home without having your money pickpocketed. Why don't I help you home?"

"I said I know my way around! Are you retarded?"

"Nope, just concerned," I said, pulling him eagerly. "Let's go! People are starting to stare!"

He grunted, but he allowed himself to be pulled.

"Do you always travel alone?" I couldn't help but ask. We were walking side by side in the busy street leading out of the market.

"You're too talkative," he said sourly.

My brow arched. He almost sounded like that someone who always tells me that too. "I'm expressive," I said, smiling. "Anyway, you shouldn't be traveling alone all by yourself. You need company in case you need medical attention—"

"Do I look like someone who needs medical attention?!" he barked.

I shook my head. "No, you look like someone who is old. Senior folks have lower body resistance, so you shouldn't be alone when traveling, in case of emergencies."

"You do not understand my circumstances, so don't talk as if you know everything!" he snapped. "And I'm not THAT old!"

I had to smile. "If you say so." 

The old man before me looked very ready to kill me now. "I speak the truth."

"Of course you do." Although he looked old, he did look large and intimidating still, and the sullen look on his face was striking, almost as striking as that of…

"I do," he insisted.

I grinned, but it didn't last long. He suddenly clutched his chest and collapsed right in the middle of the road.

I was massaging his chest when he woke up. I was kneeling beside him, so my face was the first thing he saw.

"W-Where am I?" he asked, still disconcerted.

"Under a tree. You collapsed…maybe because of over-exposure to heat." I pressed my ice-cold drenched hanky to his face. "I couldn't carry you all the way to the hospital so I struggled to pull you to the nearest safe place for you."

He tried to sit up. "And you think I will thank you?"

I smiled cheerfully. "Ah no, it will ruin your character. I would prefer if you just rest."

He frowned suspiciously. "I will not pay you for this. I didn't ask for it."

"Hai, hai!" I finished wiping his face and neck. "Just your name, Grandpa."

"I'M NOT THAT—"

"Ok, Ok," I said, clamping my hands over my ears. He did have a booming voice, almost replicating the capability of a sound speaker system.

"Hmp!" He was about to get up when he fell back down on the grass.

"I-Is something hurting there?" I quickly made my way behind his back. Underneath his rich, velvet coat, my trained hands could feel his tensed muscles. "Hmm, let's loosen those muscles, shall we?

"Don't you touch me—"

"Too late," I said simply. I began to massage his back gently but firmly, kneading his muscles seekingly for nodules. His protests died out, and for a minute, it was perfect silence between us.

He suddenly spoke up. "What's your name?"

"Pirika," I said, not bothering to point out anymore that he didn't give me his name.

"You massage well," he said. I tilted my head, wondering if that was an insult or a compliment. I was about to reply when he spoke again. "Do you want to have a good, luxurious life?"

I shrugged. "Everyone does."

"Then marry my son."

"EH!!" I didn't know whether he was giving a joke and making a poor attempt of it, or he had gone crazy due to his over-exposure to the sun.

"You massage well, and I want someone in the family with gentle but firm hands like yours. My wife's are too weak."

"But marry your son?" I felt blush creep to my face. "I'm engaged."

He looked at me blankly, as if saying, "So?"

"And I will soon be meeting his parents."

"Rubbish."

I sweatdropped. "You'll find someone else who can massage better than I could. There are masseurs for hire and—"

"None of them are of marrying potential." He looked at me in the eye. "I'll tell my son about you."

I felt the need to go. "The people at home must be looking for me already and—"

"I'll find you," he stated matter-of-factly.

I sweatdropped. "Sir, I'm engaged to be married, and I marry because of love and for nothing else more." I bowed. "I think you are well enough—"

"At least, walk me home," he insisted.

I sighed. And I thought Ren Tao was the most stubborn person in the world aside from my brother. Boy, I was wrong! But I did go back to his side to help him up.

I was starting to get nervous when I noticed that we were heading for the Tao mansion. I was starting to feel a little ill already, so I spoke up when we reached the final intersection. "Um, this is where I turn left," I said.

He looked at the path, then nodded. "Alright."

I started to go left and head for the woods, then turned around to see if he was still there. He wasn't, so I dashed as fast as I could to the Tao compound, cutting across the fields.

When I arrived, I was greeted by the very worried face of Jun Tao.

"Where have you been?" she asked in a whisper. "When Ren arrived here and learned that you're not home, he went ballistic! He thought that you left him like you did six years ago."

"W-Why would I do that?" I asked, growing nervous too. "I promised him that I would help him."

"Pirika!!!"

The angry voice made me turn around. And there he was, Ren Tao himself, glaring at me furiously. If looks could kill, I would be in the coffin right now.

"You're home," I said as calmly as I could. It wouldn't do if we compete in raising our voices.

"Where have you been?" he yelled.

"I went to buy myself ribbons and—"

"What took you so long then?" he barked.

"Ren, maybe I should start working on—"

"Stay out of this, nee-san!" he yelled, turning to Jun, who was obviously just trying to get me out of the situation.

That was it. "DON'T YELL AT HER! IT WAS MY FAULT!!!" I yelled, stopping him.

Jun mumbled an excuse and left us alone.

"Good. You're the one at fault and you're the one who has the nerve to scream," he said, voice lower now. His sarcasm wasn't diminished though.

"I volunteered to buy the ribbons," I explained, calm too. "But I met someone who needs my help. He collapsed on the road so I had to help him—"

"How charitable," he said sarcastically. "How come you never even remembered how I would feel when I find you gone in the most crucial day of my life?"

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Hmp!" He glared at me still, and that irked me.

"I didn't tell you to look for me!" I couldn't resist saying.

"You don't have to because it comes naturally for me!" he yelled back. "I'm your fiancé, remember? Or just because you saved some guy awhile ago, you forgot already?"

I froze. Was that raw jealousy I could see in his furious eyes? Impossible. But what else should I call that smoldering emotion in them?

"You don't even trust me," I said, my voice breaking. "How am I supposed to believe that you are my fiancé?"

He rubbed his face with his hands, annoyed. "Don't cry on me! It's not fair.."

"I'm sorry." I wiped my tears away, trembling. "I'll do good, Ren-kun, then after this day, I won't make you miserable anymore. I'll go back quietly…I do intend to go back to Japan…but I promised you myself for today, right? I will never forget that…because this is one thing I know that I'm sure I wouldn't regret doing again." I turned my back on him and headed for my room to get dressed. 

"Pirika…"

I turned to him. "Hai?"

He wordlessly reached for me and roughly pulled me towards him. He bent down and kissed me fully on the mouth.

I was stricken by surprise, so he was able to deepen the kiss. I moaned longingly. The six years between that kiss in the balcony and the present ceased in this sweet moment. My feelings for him were as powerful as ever, basing on how I kissed him back with all my heart.

He abruptly let go and rubbed my swollen lower lip with his thumb gingerly. "Go get dressed," he instructed. "Father will be here any minute now."

I nodded, still in a daze.

**tsuzuku**


	12. 12

I had never liked talking to my father. He was a monster to my sister and me, one who lived ruthlessly. One who considered life as means to an end, death.

I hated him before, and knew would always do. He was not like me, who had the privilege to meet people like Yoh Asakura…

And Pirika, that young Ainu girl who defeated my every purpose as an emotionless warrior I once believed I was without so much as saying my name, in a way only she could do. Endearing and frighteningly affectionate.

My thoughts were interrupted when a spear nearly missed me by inches. I looked up and saw En Tao standing in front of me, face in its usual menacing smirk.

"Just as I thought," he said insultingly as he let himself in the living room. "You are still a spineless weakling who carried nothing great but his clan name."

I ignored it. "You weren't in the airport," I said, sitting down. He need not the pleasantries; he didn't deserve _anything_, in my opinion. 

"Do you expect me to be wheeled in your shiny toy car and be impressed, boy?" he boomed. "You may have handled our wealth with your sister sensibly, but you are still a failure as a warrior."

"Your opinion does not bother me." I had long learned to play dumb when we have talks such as this. Although sometimes, I envy Yoh Asakura for having a more caring father in the person of Mikihisa, I wouldn't trade my sister and my mother for anyone else in the world. I treated my father as a nuisance; an extra baggage to my otherwise wonderful family.

"And now you are marrying a woman that we did not choose for you." En laughed humorlessly. "A foolish, weak, and pig-headed son…I couldn't ask for anything more in my life."

I glared at him. "If I could disown myself as your son for you, I surely would. But I am now the clan head, and I know my obligations. Anyway, you do not have the authority anymore to pull my strings like a marionette."

He laughed cruelly. "You can never run away from your submission to me. I am your father, and will always be. I can disown you anytime, but you can never disown me. My blood courses through your veins."

"Unfortunately." I reminded myself that I had nothing to fear. I was in power; he wasn't. All he could do now is to intimidate me. It was up to me if he would succeed with his last card.

"I want you to break your engagement off," he said casually. "I have another woman in mind for you."

I gaped at him in disbelief. Seconds later, I recovered my composure. "You are insane," I said through gritted teeth. "Do you really believe that I will do as you wish?"

"Yes, I have my ways." He stated this as a fact, a fact that deep within me I secretly believed on with all my faith. Damn it, he still had that power over me. That miserable bastard…

I clenched my fists. I wouldn't be frightened that easily.

It took me so many years to find my own identity, I as Ren Tao of the shaman fight, and not just a "boy from the clan of Tao". It had been a journey for me to heal my past wounds…to rediscover life beyond the confines of the Tao household.

And I would never give up Pirika too. No, over my dead body!

She was my first real joy, my motivation to look at humans differently and to free myself from my haunting past, as well as my most cherished person outside my family.

I would not lose her like I did before, especially not because of En Tao. I would shatter heaven and hell if he as much as lays a finger on her.

"The woman you will meet in a short while will be my wife whether you agree or not," I said firmly, not taking my eyes off my father's face.

"Is she a means for your stupid rebellion against me?" he asked mockingly. "I understand that you have been longing to do this since you were acquainted with those other shaman friends of yours."

"Rebellion for you, assertion of my freedom for me," I said through gritted teeth. "Anyway, I think we have talked enough. It is Mother who wants to meet my fiancée-"

"You will not marry anyone but the girl I have in mind," said En confidently. "I will have your woman killed."

"I'll kill you first!" I hissed, all the hatred and fury I had been attempting to rein in, exploded.

For a while, none of us talked, only gazed at each other measuringly.

"Ren-kun?"

Familiar warmth rushed into me when I heard the soft voice of the Ainu girl. I looked away from my father and nodded at her. "Come here, Pirika. Meet my…my father."

She nodded nervously, and I rushed forward to assist her to her seat. I could see how nervous she was; in fact, her hands, pale and cold, trembled beneath my own hands. She couldn't even lift her gaze to look at my father.

Shit. I hated my father even more.

"That…woman is your fiancée," said En slowly, gazing at her critically.

I placed my arm around her shoulders possessively. "Yes, and I will marry her, even without your blessing."

I blinked when I heard her gasp. Her head shot up and stared at my father in wonder. To my astonishment, even my father's face looked funny too.

"Ren…kun?" She looked up at me, laughing uneasily. "A-Actually…we…"

"We've met," said En. He shrugged. "She's the noisy woman who harassed me on my way here."

"H-Harassed?" I echoed, wondering what kind of cosmic joke the universe was playing on me.

Pirika licked her lips nervously. "Um…actually…yeah. He's the guy I told you that I helped that's why I came home late."

En smirked, but the smile bore no trace of the malevolence he saw awhile ago. It was as if the Ainu girl warrants a special kind of treatment from En Tao. "I told you I'd make you my son's wife. I was right, wasn't I?"  

Her cheeks flushed. "A-Ah…"

I tried to digest the facts. The two had met already, and Pirika was able to return home unscathed when she just walked with the most feared assassin of China in his time!

It was too… preposterous! I knew my temper was that of my father's – the legendary Tao temper – something Pirika easily makes me lose. I wonder how my father controlled his own temper with her. 

I then realized that my father and I share the same heart of the Tao men. The reason why my mother loved all of him, and loved him even more for his imperfections. He might have treated her differently…in a way, other people do not know.

Just like me…who cherished the Ainu girl from afar. Who counted on that one promise of hers that she would be my bride.

It came on a full circle.

My father was anything but ideal, but he would always be my flesh and blood. He gave me this heart that beats within me, something I failed to notice for all I wallowed on was his evilness.

This same heart, in turn, I would give to the one who had owned it even as long as six years ago.

En Tao got up. "I knew things would end my way." He gave Pirika a triumphant smile. "Now I am rest assured of a good masseuse for life. If my son dares to hurt you, tell me, and I'll kill him. I swear I will."

I blinked. How did the tables turn over so fast? Just minutes ago, he was threatening to kill my fiancée!

"Y-Yes, En Tao-sama," she said shyly.

"Father," he corrected. "And you are now my daughter."

How about that? All my life, I had strived to become his son while Pirika had suddenly become his daughter without so much an effort!

But I felt good. Now I do not have anything to worry anymore. That would be the last time that my father would meddle with my life. In a way, Pirika really was my freedom.

I squeezed her hands warmly, and she smiled at me. Somehow though, the smile didn't reach her eyes.

Although I wondered, I didn't ask anymore. Maybe later, I would. I was too afraid of breaking what seemed like a newfound fragile joy within me.

I was free.

And madly in love too.

Final chapter out soon ^^ 

**Notes: En Tao here is…um…weird. I had to do that because I wanted to differentiate En Tao here from the En Tao of another Ren/Piri ficcie by my good grandma, Apple-chan. And besides, I can't write a seriously good account of En Tao…syao-chan specializes on fluff and lightheartedness. ^^**

**Complaints? Email me.**


	13. finale

I was relieved. It was over…all over. I had passed the test with flying colors, even managing to make En Tao believe the masquerade. It was unbelievable, but Jun's jovial smile and Ren-kun's relieved face insists that what happened was not a dream.

I wearily went back to my room and laid myself on the bed, smiling.

Now I can finally go home… 

That afternoon, I performed the last of my duties as Ren's fiancée by sharing the family dinner, conversing with Ren's mother on the phone and answering her very eager queries about her son, and of course, massaging En Tao-sama's back. All of these I committed to my memory. I would never forget how I found a second family in them.

I looked at Ren-kun, whom I felt had been watching me for the last few hours subtly. I felt my eyes shake.

After this…after this…

My eyes went back to the floor just before his eyes went back to me.

At last, En Tao had fallen asleep. Jun laughingly teased me that her father now would stop by more often in the house because of me. I shrugged. This would be the last time that I would do these things.

"You don't really have to go," said Ren's sister when she sensed my thoughts. She draped a friendly arm around me. "We love you," she whispered, winking at me.

I laughed uneasily. "Y-You know that I have to go home to Onii-chan…"

"You don't have to. We can ask him to come here." Jun turned serious. "Please stay, Pirika. I don't want you to leave and take with you the newfound lightness and happiness of the house…and its residents."

I sighed. "Nee-san, you know that from the start, Ren-kun said that this is all a pretend to escape his parents' manipulation…"

"Pirika…"

I smiled. "I'm sorry, Nee-san. I have grown to love this place, and its people. But…" I bit my lip.

"I won't be able to stop you then," she said sadly. "Won't anyone else be able to do so?"

I blushed, then shook my head. "Thank you for everything, Nee-san."

"Don't give up!" called Jun after me. "You have held the coldest ice and snowflakes… and my brother is not really a glacier." Her eyes softened. "Warm him up and melt his ice with your love."

"I wish he would let me," I replied before going upstairs hurriedly.

The next day, En Tao was aboard one of the private planes of the Tao clan. He looked at Ren and me, who were standing some feet away from him.

"Child, don't let that boy get on your nerves too much. He is pathetic," said En to me. "Maybe next year, I'll be back with my wife. She would love your hands too."

Fat chance, but I managed to nod. "Have a safe trip, Father," I said.

He looked pleased. "Yes." His eyes then turned to his son, and they exchanged curt nods.

Minutes later, we watched the plane disappear from our sight. I dropped my waving hand and turned to Ren, who looked at me at the exact moment. For a second, our eyes met. I saw confusion and embarrassment on his handsome face.

He was the first to look down. He pocketed his hands inside his slacks. "I…I think we better go home."

"Y-Yes," I agreed. "I'm going home."

He looked at me, puzzled. Before he could ask, the limo pulled along from behind. Out came Li Pailong holding my things.

"Where should I put the suitcases, Ms. Pirika?" the kyoshin asked.

I was about to gesture to the other plane when Ren interrupted. "You can put it right back to the car, Pailong," he said authoritatively.

"W-What?!" I exclaimed. "I'm going home already!"

"Exactly," he said. "My home."

"B-But…" I followed him into the car. "Ren-kun, the play is over. Your parents have set you free. What else can you ask for?"

He turned to me, eyes angry. "Get in the car."

"I'm going back to Japan!" I tried to reach for my things but Ren had quickly whipped out his spear and had slashed my suitcases right before my very eyes.

My temper boiled. "Hey, what did you do that for?"

"You're coming home with me!" he barked. "Whether you want it or not."

I looked at Pailong for help, but the kyoshin had refused to meet my gaze. I looked at Ren, frowning. "Ren-kun, you promised that after this, you will send me home." I hugged myself. "I've served my purpose, haven't I? You don't need me anymore."

He exhaled sharply. "I know! I know that very well, but something in me refuses to acknowledge that, damn it!"

I was shocked. What was he getting into?

His face reddened. "Fine, go back to Japan! Never show me your face again! Forget that I existed, and I will do the same with you! Damn you, I hate you!!!" He turned his back on me and threw on the gravel road the remaining things in the car. "Go away!!! I don't need you!!!"

I picked up my things one by one. I was too shocked to be affected by his sudden outburst.

"My life," he said, breathing harshly as he threw out of the car even the tissue box. "Had been perfectly satisfactory and complete and so uncomplicated when you didn't arrive in my life." He threw out the car pillow. "But you had to barge all bright-eyed into my organized way of life and propose to be my bride. God, you were just a kid then! Barely thirteen, and the sister of my biggest rival since Yoh Asakura!" He noticed the car air freshener and threw it out of the car too.

"I hate you! You didn't know what kind of hell you gave me then. Whenever I look at you, I feel my stomach hurt, my heart race…it's annoying…it's horrible!" He turned his attention to the other throw pillow. "I'm not sick, but I feel sick. I feel myself lose control over my own self just because of you." The throw pillow sailed right on Pailong's face.

"Ren-kun…"

At last, he ran out of things to throw. Exhausted, he sat down the car backseat and laid his head wearily. I walked towards him cautiously.

"It took me six years and some weeks with you just to know that you are the biggest danger in my life." He eyed me, still panting. "I won't be surprised if you tell me right now that you are the shaman king."

I had to laugh. "Ren-kun…"

"It hurt back then when you disappeared. If I've only known that it would kill me like this when you go again, I shouldn't have went back to Japan to look for you," he whispered miserably. "Damn you, I hate you…" He shut his eyes. "If you need to go, if you must go…go now."

I carefully touched his face. "Ren-kun, if you send me away, please show me that you really mean it…not like this. Not with this false bravado and half-hearted anger." I caressed his eyelids with my thumb. "Ren-kun, I left years ago because you told me that I…that my brother and I have to relocate. It was after you kissed me." I sighed. "I thought you were displeased…and that was your way of telling me to go away. So I did as you said. I went away."

He opened one eye. "I didn't mean it like that. I was just…thinking that maybe your brother would need privacy."

"I was just a child then…very insecure," I said, laughing. "I'm sorry."

"I would have explained that to you if you told me that," he said almost accusingly.

I shrugged. "I didn't think I have the right. I thought the kiss meant nothing to you."

"Hell it didn't!" he barked, face reddening.

"OK…" I got up. "Ren-kun, tell me if you want me to go or stay. Just one word, and I'll do it."

He looked up at me, mouth hanging open.

"Do you want me to go or stay?" I asked, trying to keep the shakiness out of my voice.

It was the moment of truth. I wasn't sure about his feelings but this was the only way that I would know what was going on between us with no doubt.

"S-Stay," he said, his voice nearly squeaking. His face was like that of a little boy, unsure. He said the word as if it was his life he handed over to me.

And it touched me. I sat down beside him and leaned on his shoulders. "OK…I'll stay," I said softly.

"Y-You will?" He sounded like he didn't believe me, and for the first time, I saw Ren Tao bare-naked. His mask was down, and I could see through his vulnerabilities for the first time. He too was afraid, like me.

Does that mean…?

"Thank you," I heard him say softly, kissing my hair.

I laughed and hugged him. "I love you, Ren-kun."

I heard him gasp, then chuckle.

It sounded so relaxed, so happy. Everything suddenly felt so peaceful.

"I…" He clasped my hand and brought it to his lips. "I…"

I laughed when I heard his heart hammer in his chest loudly. I looked up at him, and his eyes met my gaze.

"I love…" he tried again, this time blushing hotly. "I love…"

"Give it up, Ren-kun," I said laughingly. "It's alright."

I knew how hard it was for someone like him to say such thing when all his life he had been sheltered from that kind of emotion.

Determination filled his face. "I want to say it."

I laughed again. "You have the whole life to keep trying, Ren-kun."

His eyes widened. "So you really will marry me?"

I pretended to frown. "You don't want to be my husband?"

"Surely you jest." He hugged me possessively. "Six years of hell…Pirika, I will never go through that hell again. You're stuck with me."

"Oh, alright." I smiled and waited in anticipation as his lips went down to mine.

**The end**


End file.
